Oh my goodness, today was fabulous too!!! :)
Well...I started off annoyed because even thought I COULD have slept in as late as 9 today someone in my room decided to get up at 6AM and pretty much slam every single cupboard in our room...about ten times. I was SO annoyed!!!
But, somehow I managed to get some broken sleep until I finally got out of bed at 9 and got ready for church. And, church was such a great surprise! The little local church we went to this weekend was outside in a park! We all sat on park benches and drank sodas while the kids played on the playground and the pastor spoke. Then we had a bbq and did some facepainting! It was so fun!
Then I had a skype date with my mom which was quite exciting! :)
However, I found out after skyping with my mom that the girl who was supposed to pick us up and take us to Hillsong had the stomach flu. So, that opened up my schedule for the day!
SO, LaChelle and I decided we'd go lay out! So I grabbed my book, journal, and iPod and we both layed out for almost two hours! It was blazing hot but there was a fabulous breeze so it was PERFECT!! But neither of us look any darker...oh, well.
Then Emily, LaChelle, Gwen and myself all headed to the store to buy some ingredients for our Halloween Dance Party!!! Today was Halloween in Australia but they don't really celebrate it at all! And the Europeans had never celebrated it either, so we all decided that we would have a dance party. But, we called it a "Harvest Dance Party" because all of the Europeans had only ever heard horror stories about American Halloweens and they pretty much thought it was Satan's birthday...
ANYWAYS it was basically an excuse to make a bunch of snacks and dance! After buying our ingredients we cooked alllll day! We made rice krispy treats, s'mores (but instead of graham crackers we used sugar cookies), caramel popcorn, caramel apples (and Emily made the caramel FROM SCRATCH!!! Like just butter and sugar and creme...she's awesome), and pancakes too! :) Then we decorated the upstairs worship hall and danced for two hours! It was AMAZING!!!!
It's so nice knowing people so well that you honestly don't care AT ALL what you look like around them! We all danced however we wanted to and whenever we wanted to and with whoever we wanted to! It was fabulous!!
Now I'm going to go take a shower and go to bed fully exhausted! Tomorrow LaChelle and I are celebrating both of our birthdays in the city and we're going to see "Rigaletto" the opera in the Sydney Opera house!!!! WOO HOO!
Today has been fully wonderful in actions...but, somehow my mind has been occupied all day. It's been a struggle for me to focus on the present instead of focusing on the future and all of the worries that come with it. I've felt all day like there has been this ever present cloud around my heart and lungs and when I'm not working incredibly hard on focusing on the present the cloud grows larger and heavier. It's so hard sometimes I just want to cry.
Please just pray that the enemy won't be able to steal any more of God's fabulous moments by growing that cloud in my heart! Especially tomorrow! God has given me this wonderful once of a lifetime opportunity and I don't want anything - especially this stupid cloud issue - to distract me from God's gift!!!
I love you all and I'll blog again tomorrow! :)
G'Night!
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Ballerinas, Fried Oreos, and Nose Rings
Today. Was. Awesome.
Well... it didn't start out amazing - I didn't get to surf :(
BUT it was fine because I got to sleep in until 7 and I had raisin toast for breakfast. AND I got to skype with my daddy for a while! And Aaron! AND my mom, too! It was amazing! I love talking with all of them SO much!
After my skyping dates I had assessments, then about a 2 hour break. So, during that time I applied for college! Well...I tried. I'm about 98% finished. It was super weird having to put down on paper (well...my generation's version of paper is the internet) everything you've ever done in your life that might even sound impressive to someone. Under the community service and volunteering part I basically wanted to say, "I just volunteer at my church ALL the time, okay?!" But...I couldn't. :)
Then I went and ate a salad for lunch while sitting on the steps outside. Today was incredibly hot and sunny and delicious. After lunch I found a few minutes to sit by myself and listen to John Mayer while just soaking up the sun...however, when you live with 30 missionaries it's hard to sit on the steps alone in the sun with your eyes closed because automatically everyone thinks you're having a bad day so they all come and try to cheer you up...it's sweet...yet annoying. :)So, I only got through about 3/4 of a song, but it was a nice little escape.
After a few meetings I stole another 30 minutes to take a quick nap. When I woke up it was soooooo hard to muster up the energy to go hang out with 10-15 year olds but somehow God energized me...well, at least enough to roll out of bed.
This week in Youth Street Dance Team we learned modern dance...and oh my goodness...I've found my heart's song. It was delicious - literally, I felt like my soul could soar. We all learned some rough choreography and then performed it by ourselves. However, I made everyone in my class close their eyes when it was my time to perform so I could have real freedom to move - heaven.
After about an hour of dance we all went outside to eat apples! And then I came back inside and found out that Emily really wanted to be a part of the dance team but we had too many members so I switched with her so she could learn at least the last half of the class.
I spent the next hour cutting about 55 apples and talking with Laura and Josh which was fabulous. I love conversation, so much.
For dinner we had Sloppy Joes but Emily and I made egg whites with tomatoes and onions as well as some green beans so we could avoid eating our weight in oil :)
After youth street was over I went and helped Josh out in the kitchen and he taught me how to make homemade FROM SCRATCH apple sauce!! It was awesome! We just hung out in the kitchen for like an hour making apple sauce and apple cobbler while everyone else was in a meeting that we probably should have attended. But, it was great getting to know him - I've technically known him for 2 months but I didn't really even know his last name! :)
After eating some cobbler I went upstairs for a massage...let me explain: As a fundraiser for our outreach a few girls were giving massages. So, I bought a 10 minute massage for five dollars, and it was SO worth it! It was full on, too! Complete with candles, ambiance music, comfy mattresses, and even massage oil! Definitely worth it.
I went downstairs, fully relaxed, and found out that they were having a "Deep Fried Party" where basically they were deep frying everything in sight. They basically shoved a deep fried oreo in my face...so I HAAAAD to swallow it ;) and it was DELICIOUS.
And then....the best part of my day happened....maybe even the best part of my week....even my month maybe!!! I went upstairs to the dance studio, locked the door, plugged in an ipod, and danced with God. Seriously, it was INCREDIBLE! I danced wildly, softly, weirdly, and completely unashamed. It was the most free I've felt since I've been here. For an entire song I closed my eyes and moved for Jesus as an act of worship and intimacy. It was addicting! I didn't ever want to stop! But, after about 45 minutes of constant cardio I had to cool down. So I just laid there listening to music, stretching, talking to God, listening, smiling, feeling, and being. I can't believe I've missed out on this my whole life!
One of the things I've most regretted about my life is not getting into dance as a little girl. I've always always always wanted to be a ballerina, when I was little I had this one dance move that I always did and I still remember how it made me feel. I would always spin around (gracefully, of course) and then put both hands on the ground while lifting my back leg as high into the air as I could. Looking back it was so awkward and clumsy looking; but, as a little girl it made me feel like I was the tallest, most beautiful, eye-catching, heart-captivating, graceful ballerina that ever lived. I was just sure that I made up the move and when people would see it they would want to ask me how they could ever learn how to be so graceful too.
And that's how I felt again tonight. I felt like God was watching me dance all by myself in the upstairs room of a brick building in Sydney Australia thinking, "how graceful and beautiful you are - thank you for dancing for me, it's the best gift you could ever give me."
Ohhh I think I could write for hours about how wonderful and spiritual it was - but I think two paragraphs is enough for right now. :)
Then I had a shower date with Laura and talked about what love is and if we really know or not. I won't tell you what we came up with, it's a secret.
After my shower I skyped with my mom before she had to head over to the arena for Women of Faith - she's awesome. And beautiful. And in love with God. And in love with me. I would be so incredibly happy if I ended up like her one day.
Now I think I am going to head to bed even though it's our weekend and I guess I could stay up all night! But, sleep is one of my favorite things in the world, so I think I'm going to go enjoy that now.
Oh, another thing I realized today: I liked my nose ring. I have a stud in my nose and a month or two ago I bought a ring to put in, and I LOVED it. But, my family said they liked the stud better...and if I'm being completely honest I really changed it back to the stud because Kev said he liked it more. But, you know what?! I liked the ring more!! And, I think I'm going to put it back in!! But...I'm nervous, because it's a lot smaller in width than my stud so last time I put it in the hole shrank so when I tried to put my stud back in I basically had to re-pierce it....and it wasn't comfortable.
Anyways, what I'm trying to say is that I'm taking yet another step closer to having a completely firm foundation on God alone without looking to my sides for approval. And I think that my nose ring is going to be a statement of that - along with the tattoo I'm getting. (I just gave you a HUGE hint as to what it is!!)
Isn't it weird that different things have so many vastly different meanings for people? Who would ever ever ever think that a nose ring could really mean anything to anyone more than just a fashion statement. And I would NEVER think that it actually was a statement about God...I mean hello...it's a nose ring...only Satan wears nose rings, right? ;)
Well, I have no real idea why I said all of that - but then again, sometimes I think that a lot about my blogs. But, then I remember that this is also kind of serving as my journal for these months while I'm here. One day I'm even going to print them all out and bind them into a book! And, in my book I want it to talk about nose rings and tattoos...so, that's what I'm writing about! :)
Alright...I'm done! I will blog again tomorrow! I think LaChelle and I are going to Hillsong so I'm sure I'll have a lot to blog about!
G'Night!
Well... it didn't start out amazing - I didn't get to surf :(
BUT it was fine because I got to sleep in until 7 and I had raisin toast for breakfast. AND I got to skype with my daddy for a while! And Aaron! AND my mom, too! It was amazing! I love talking with all of them SO much!
After my skyping dates I had assessments, then about a 2 hour break. So, during that time I applied for college! Well...I tried. I'm about 98% finished. It was super weird having to put down on paper (well...my generation's version of paper is the internet) everything you've ever done in your life that might even sound impressive to someone. Under the community service and volunteering part I basically wanted to say, "I just volunteer at my church ALL the time, okay?!" But...I couldn't. :)
Then I went and ate a salad for lunch while sitting on the steps outside. Today was incredibly hot and sunny and delicious. After lunch I found a few minutes to sit by myself and listen to John Mayer while just soaking up the sun...however, when you live with 30 missionaries it's hard to sit on the steps alone in the sun with your eyes closed because automatically everyone thinks you're having a bad day so they all come and try to cheer you up...it's sweet...yet annoying. :)So, I only got through about 3/4 of a song, but it was a nice little escape.
After a few meetings I stole another 30 minutes to take a quick nap. When I woke up it was soooooo hard to muster up the energy to go hang out with 10-15 year olds but somehow God energized me...well, at least enough to roll out of bed.
This week in Youth Street Dance Team we learned modern dance...and oh my goodness...I've found my heart's song. It was delicious - literally, I felt like my soul could soar. We all learned some rough choreography and then performed it by ourselves. However, I made everyone in my class close their eyes when it was my time to perform so I could have real freedom to move - heaven.
After about an hour of dance we all went outside to eat apples! And then I came back inside and found out that Emily really wanted to be a part of the dance team but we had too many members so I switched with her so she could learn at least the last half of the class.
I spent the next hour cutting about 55 apples and talking with Laura and Josh which was fabulous. I love conversation, so much.
For dinner we had Sloppy Joes but Emily and I made egg whites with tomatoes and onions as well as some green beans so we could avoid eating our weight in oil :)
After youth street was over I went and helped Josh out in the kitchen and he taught me how to make homemade FROM SCRATCH apple sauce!! It was awesome! We just hung out in the kitchen for like an hour making apple sauce and apple cobbler while everyone else was in a meeting that we probably should have attended. But, it was great getting to know him - I've technically known him for 2 months but I didn't really even know his last name! :)
After eating some cobbler I went upstairs for a massage...let me explain: As a fundraiser for our outreach a few girls were giving massages. So, I bought a 10 minute massage for five dollars, and it was SO worth it! It was full on, too! Complete with candles, ambiance music, comfy mattresses, and even massage oil! Definitely worth it.
I went downstairs, fully relaxed, and found out that they were having a "Deep Fried Party" where basically they were deep frying everything in sight. They basically shoved a deep fried oreo in my face...so I HAAAAD to swallow it ;) and it was DELICIOUS.
And then....the best part of my day happened....maybe even the best part of my week....even my month maybe!!! I went upstairs to the dance studio, locked the door, plugged in an ipod, and danced with God. Seriously, it was INCREDIBLE! I danced wildly, softly, weirdly, and completely unashamed. It was the most free I've felt since I've been here. For an entire song I closed my eyes and moved for Jesus as an act of worship and intimacy. It was addicting! I didn't ever want to stop! But, after about 45 minutes of constant cardio I had to cool down. So I just laid there listening to music, stretching, talking to God, listening, smiling, feeling, and being. I can't believe I've missed out on this my whole life!
One of the things I've most regretted about my life is not getting into dance as a little girl. I've always always always wanted to be a ballerina, when I was little I had this one dance move that I always did and I still remember how it made me feel. I would always spin around (gracefully, of course) and then put both hands on the ground while lifting my back leg as high into the air as I could. Looking back it was so awkward and clumsy looking; but, as a little girl it made me feel like I was the tallest, most beautiful, eye-catching, heart-captivating, graceful ballerina that ever lived. I was just sure that I made up the move and when people would see it they would want to ask me how they could ever learn how to be so graceful too.
And that's how I felt again tonight. I felt like God was watching me dance all by myself in the upstairs room of a brick building in Sydney Australia thinking, "how graceful and beautiful you are - thank you for dancing for me, it's the best gift you could ever give me."
Ohhh I think I could write for hours about how wonderful and spiritual it was - but I think two paragraphs is enough for right now. :)
Then I had a shower date with Laura and talked about what love is and if we really know or not. I won't tell you what we came up with, it's a secret.
After my shower I skyped with my mom before she had to head over to the arena for Women of Faith - she's awesome. And beautiful. And in love with God. And in love with me. I would be so incredibly happy if I ended up like her one day.
Now I think I am going to head to bed even though it's our weekend and I guess I could stay up all night! But, sleep is one of my favorite things in the world, so I think I'm going to go enjoy that now.
Oh, another thing I realized today: I liked my nose ring. I have a stud in my nose and a month or two ago I bought a ring to put in, and I LOVED it. But, my family said they liked the stud better...and if I'm being completely honest I really changed it back to the stud because Kev said he liked it more. But, you know what?! I liked the ring more!! And, I think I'm going to put it back in!! But...I'm nervous, because it's a lot smaller in width than my stud so last time I put it in the hole shrank so when I tried to put my stud back in I basically had to re-pierce it....and it wasn't comfortable.
Anyways, what I'm trying to say is that I'm taking yet another step closer to having a completely firm foundation on God alone without looking to my sides for approval. And I think that my nose ring is going to be a statement of that - along with the tattoo I'm getting. (I just gave you a HUGE hint as to what it is!!)
Isn't it weird that different things have so many vastly different meanings for people? Who would ever ever ever think that a nose ring could really mean anything to anyone more than just a fashion statement. And I would NEVER think that it actually was a statement about God...I mean hello...it's a nose ring...only Satan wears nose rings, right? ;)
Well, I have no real idea why I said all of that - but then again, sometimes I think that a lot about my blogs. But, then I remember that this is also kind of serving as my journal for these months while I'm here. One day I'm even going to print them all out and bind them into a book! And, in my book I want it to talk about nose rings and tattoos...so, that's what I'm writing about! :)
Alright...I'm done! I will blog again tomorrow! I think LaChelle and I are going to Hillsong so I'm sure I'll have a lot to blog about!
G'Night!
Friday, October 29, 2010
Off of My Shoulders and Onto My Hips
I may or may not have just eaten two hot fudge sundaes...
But, that doesn't really have much to do with my day. I just thought I needed to confess it...now there's a huge weight off of my shoulders...and onto my hips. But, its whatevs.
So, about my day:
Woke up early today and went up to breakfast where I discovered that Falita and Emily woke up early to make Fijian pancake batter. I was quite distraught considering I've been wanting to learn how to make them for ever!! But, Bole (one of the staff members from Fiji) said that she needed help cutting them and frying them after devotionals so I volunteered!
I was SO happy! I thought it was such a sweet gift from God - He knew that I've been wanting to learn how to make them and how nice that he scheduled a time for me to! So, Emily, Falita, and I all "skipped" our quiet times to make pancakes for our intercession time. We turned on some Brooke Fraser, poured out some flour and started cooking! Seriously, God was IN the kitchen cooking with us! It was one of the BEST quiet times I've ever had! How awesome is God?
Well....about 15 minutes into our cooking one of the other staff members came in and asked us what we were doing and why we had "skipped" our quiet times (really...we just moved locations). And we all replied that we were having it right now!...she didn't like that answer. She thought we were being really disrespectful by not sitting down and meditating on the word and talking with God. She even said we weren't honoring God? It was all I could do to not say, "Well, God's right here rolling out the dough with me so why don't you ask him what He thinks?" But...I didn't, I held my tongue; however, I continued to make the pancakes.
So, she took it to an even higher level - she told on us to our main DTS leader. And he went and talked to that Fijian staff lady about it, but she stood up for us and it was all good.
And, can I just say - those were some divine pancakes...pun intended.
Honestly, though. They're like sweet fluffy round balls of heaven and you can add toppings too!!
So, after all of our hard work the rest of the school gathered in the dining room and we all split up into tables and had THE best time of intercession EVER! My table had an extra chair at it so I invited God to sit with us and chat. I even kept my eyes open while praying for the different topics and really tried to imagine myself asking him my requests over coffee - it took a while to get used to it, but it was fun.
Then we had a phonetics test - the guy told me I should pray about studying phonetics and becoming a Bible translator...however, something tells me that's not my calling. But, it's cool to be able to understand the science behind people's accents...and something tells me that will come in handy in an acting career :)
Then there was the grammar test. I'm not even joking, it was three pages long. And did I already say that IT DIDN'T COUNT FOR ANYTHING?!? I would think that the fact that it had no real purpose would make me want to take it even more because there would be no stress. However, it just kinda made me aggravated. Especially because I didn't even get to see my score!!!
But, the anthropology teacher came up after that and ended the whole week on a good note!
We had the afternoon off which I spent skyping with my mom and boyfriend-in-law (Haven's boyfriend/ my best friend in the WHOLE world) who are both at Women of Faith this weekend!! And I even got to facebook chat with my brother in LA! I loved it!
Then I went to the store - nothing exciting happened. The killer birds are no longer in mating season so they don't attack us anymore! It's so wonderful to not have to walk in absolute terror to get a cup of coffee!! :)
After dinner I went and laid down for about a half an hour - we ate some fish and I'm pretty sure it was old because it did not sit well in my stomach. But, after a quick nap I felt better.
Then we had a Tahiti meeting. We all walked to Macca's together and ate burgers and ice cream! I didn't have a burger...but yes, I did have two ice creams... :) And they were amazing.
Now I'm going to hopefully skype with my dad when he wakes up. He just got back in town from England and I want to hear everything!
Tomorrow I have a VERY early morning: I'm waking up at 4:30 to go surfing! I'm SO happy we're finally back in Sydney so we can surf again! I am determined to be an expert by the time I get home...or at least be able to stand up and stay up...or at least be able to stand up... :)
After surfing we have "Youth Street" and then...the weekend!!!
I'll update again tomorrow!
G'Night
But, that doesn't really have much to do with my day. I just thought I needed to confess it...now there's a huge weight off of my shoulders...and onto my hips. But, its whatevs.
So, about my day:
Woke up early today and went up to breakfast where I discovered that Falita and Emily woke up early to make Fijian pancake batter. I was quite distraught considering I've been wanting to learn how to make them for ever!! But, Bole (one of the staff members from Fiji) said that she needed help cutting them and frying them after devotionals so I volunteered!
I was SO happy! I thought it was such a sweet gift from God - He knew that I've been wanting to learn how to make them and how nice that he scheduled a time for me to! So, Emily, Falita, and I all "skipped" our quiet times to make pancakes for our intercession time. We turned on some Brooke Fraser, poured out some flour and started cooking! Seriously, God was IN the kitchen cooking with us! It was one of the BEST quiet times I've ever had! How awesome is God?
Well....about 15 minutes into our cooking one of the other staff members came in and asked us what we were doing and why we had "skipped" our quiet times (really...we just moved locations). And we all replied that we were having it right now!...she didn't like that answer. She thought we were being really disrespectful by not sitting down and meditating on the word and talking with God. She even said we weren't honoring God? It was all I could do to not say, "Well, God's right here rolling out the dough with me so why don't you ask him what He thinks?" But...I didn't, I held my tongue; however, I continued to make the pancakes.
So, she took it to an even higher level - she told on us to our main DTS leader. And he went and talked to that Fijian staff lady about it, but she stood up for us and it was all good.
And, can I just say - those were some divine pancakes...pun intended.
Honestly, though. They're like sweet fluffy round balls of heaven and you can add toppings too!!
So, after all of our hard work the rest of the school gathered in the dining room and we all split up into tables and had THE best time of intercession EVER! My table had an extra chair at it so I invited God to sit with us and chat. I even kept my eyes open while praying for the different topics and really tried to imagine myself asking him my requests over coffee - it took a while to get used to it, but it was fun.
Then we had a phonetics test - the guy told me I should pray about studying phonetics and becoming a Bible translator...however, something tells me that's not my calling. But, it's cool to be able to understand the science behind people's accents...and something tells me that will come in handy in an acting career :)
Then there was the grammar test. I'm not even joking, it was three pages long. And did I already say that IT DIDN'T COUNT FOR ANYTHING?!? I would think that the fact that it had no real purpose would make me want to take it even more because there would be no stress. However, it just kinda made me aggravated. Especially because I didn't even get to see my score!!!
But, the anthropology teacher came up after that and ended the whole week on a good note!
We had the afternoon off which I spent skyping with my mom and boyfriend-in-law (Haven's boyfriend/ my best friend in the WHOLE world) who are both at Women of Faith this weekend!! And I even got to facebook chat with my brother in LA! I loved it!
Then I went to the store - nothing exciting happened. The killer birds are no longer in mating season so they don't attack us anymore! It's so wonderful to not have to walk in absolute terror to get a cup of coffee!! :)
After dinner I went and laid down for about a half an hour - we ate some fish and I'm pretty sure it was old because it did not sit well in my stomach. But, after a quick nap I felt better.
Then we had a Tahiti meeting. We all walked to Macca's together and ate burgers and ice cream! I didn't have a burger...but yes, I did have two ice creams... :) And they were amazing.
Now I'm going to hopefully skype with my dad when he wakes up. He just got back in town from England and I want to hear everything!
Tomorrow I have a VERY early morning: I'm waking up at 4:30 to go surfing! I'm SO happy we're finally back in Sydney so we can surf again! I am determined to be an expert by the time I get home...or at least be able to stand up and stay up...or at least be able to stand up... :)
After surfing we have "Youth Street" and then...the weekend!!!
I'll update again tomorrow!
G'Night
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Break-Down of My Day
Hello!
Today was almost as un-eventful as yesterday. Which is yet another nice relief in comparison to the day before. :)
But, just because I have some time I'll go ahead and give you all a break-down of my day:
6:50 AM - I woke up, got dressed...just as a side-note, I'm trying this new thing where I actually get dressed in real clothes (not sweats or PJ's) every day and it has actually helped me stay awake...I don't know, it could just be a placebo effect. And yet another side-note, I just tried to explain the term "placebo effect" to my Samoan DTS leader and he just looked at me and said, "You're freaking me out. And what's even freakier is that I think you're speaking English." Okay...back to my day.
7:30 - Devotional. I have no recollection of what we talked about today...I think it was about God.
7:45 - Quiet time. My favorite part of the day! BUT the lights over my bed are out so I've been squinting for the past few days. I talked to God about some very heavy things today which made me feel quite overwhelmed, however I just asked Him to deal with it all because I personally didn't have the strength to...and throughout the day I actually started to believe that!
8:30 - Work Duties. Boring.
9:00 - We studied 3 different ways of studying the Bible - Inductive, Meditation, and Topical. In all honesty every single one was presented in the same way there was pretty much no difference between them - weird.
10:00 - morning tea...I confess...I ate three bowls of cereal....I don't know what happened.
10:30-12:00 - Learning French. I can now officially tell hello, what my name is, where I live, and "can you pass me that apple OR potato"...and that's really it. So basically, I can successfully communicate: "Hello. My name is Clancy, can you pass me that apple or potato in the United States?"...real helpful.
12:00-1:00 - Phonetics. Interesting yet incredibly boring, I don't know how that's possible.
1:00 - Lunch. I slept through lunch (3 bowls of cereal will do that...)
2:00 - Lectures start again...I slept through this part too...
2:30 - I was woken up by a staff member wondering if I was sick. I acted very startled and apologetic and ran upstairs...little did they know I KNEW lectures had started and chose to stay in bed...oops.
2:30-2:45 - I listened to the last part of our "translation" lecture...trust me, I didn't miss ANYTHING.
2:45-3:30 - Grammar. I still haven't figured out why we're learning English Grammar...neither has the staff. And tomorrow we have a test. Wow.
3:30-4:15 - Computers...really?
4:15-5:00 - Anthropology. FINALLY!!! Something I'm seriously interested in! As of yet I've been looking into either being a sociology major or an anthropology major so I LOVED this lecture. I was thinking the other day, "hmmm...I always thought I would be a theater major, why do I want to study sociology or anthropology?" And then it hit me! Those would BOTH be incredibly beneficial to acting! Hello....the study of people and the way they interact and live?! God's awesome.
5:30- Dinner!!! We had a delicious "fall" dinner!
It is now 6:30 and I don't have anything planned for the rest of the evening.
It sounds like I have a super bad attitude towards this week's lectures. To be honest, I'm having a hard time being super positive about it, we all are...staff included. We were all told that they were going to come in and teach us French and Anthropology...but we got grammar, phonetics, computers, translation, alphabet, etc. So, it's just been an adjustment...oh, and they're making us do homework and have actual graded tests that don't really count for anything so it's been incredibly hard mustering up the motivation to do it all. You know? But, I DON'T hate this week, I promise! :) It's just not my favorite! :)
Well, now I'm going to go relax! I recently got a LOT of new music, so I might just sit somewhere and listen to it all! :)
G'Night! :)
Update: I had SUCH a fabulous night after writing that last part of the entry! I listened to music with LaChelle - We listened to Brooke Fraser, Brandon Flowers, and I introduced her to The Raconteurs. I dyed her hair. We painted our nails. Had a shower date. However, I didn't wait long enough for my nails to dry before I took a shower so I had to re-do them when I got out. But, it was fine because we listened to Taylor Swift while eating oreos so basically, it was amazing!!! :)
THEN I got to skype with my momma! She woke up at 5:45AM to skype with me...that's REAL love! Now, I'm going to bed and she's going BACK to bed. :) We have a day full of tests tomorrow...those tests that don't actually count for anything... :)
I will talk to you all later! :)
G'Night Again! :)
Today was almost as un-eventful as yesterday. Which is yet another nice relief in comparison to the day before. :)
But, just because I have some time I'll go ahead and give you all a break-down of my day:
6:50 AM - I woke up, got dressed...just as a side-note, I'm trying this new thing where I actually get dressed in real clothes (not sweats or PJ's) every day and it has actually helped me stay awake...I don't know, it could just be a placebo effect. And yet another side-note, I just tried to explain the term "placebo effect" to my Samoan DTS leader and he just looked at me and said, "You're freaking me out. And what's even freakier is that I think you're speaking English." Okay...back to my day.
7:30 - Devotional. I have no recollection of what we talked about today...I think it was about God.
7:45 - Quiet time. My favorite part of the day! BUT the lights over my bed are out so I've been squinting for the past few days. I talked to God about some very heavy things today which made me feel quite overwhelmed, however I just asked Him to deal with it all because I personally didn't have the strength to...and throughout the day I actually started to believe that!
8:30 - Work Duties. Boring.
9:00 - We studied 3 different ways of studying the Bible - Inductive, Meditation, and Topical. In all honesty every single one was presented in the same way there was pretty much no difference between them - weird.
10:00 - morning tea...I confess...I ate three bowls of cereal....I don't know what happened.
10:30-12:00 - Learning French. I can now officially tell hello, what my name is, where I live, and "can you pass me that apple OR potato"...and that's really it. So basically, I can successfully communicate: "Hello. My name is Clancy, can you pass me that apple or potato in the United States?"...real helpful.
12:00-1:00 - Phonetics. Interesting yet incredibly boring, I don't know how that's possible.
1:00 - Lunch. I slept through lunch (3 bowls of cereal will do that...)
2:00 - Lectures start again...I slept through this part too...
2:30 - I was woken up by a staff member wondering if I was sick. I acted very startled and apologetic and ran upstairs...little did they know I KNEW lectures had started and chose to stay in bed...oops.
2:30-2:45 - I listened to the last part of our "translation" lecture...trust me, I didn't miss ANYTHING.
2:45-3:30 - Grammar. I still haven't figured out why we're learning English Grammar...neither has the staff. And tomorrow we have a test. Wow.
3:30-4:15 - Computers...really?
4:15-5:00 - Anthropology. FINALLY!!! Something I'm seriously interested in! As of yet I've been looking into either being a sociology major or an anthropology major so I LOVED this lecture. I was thinking the other day, "hmmm...I always thought I would be a theater major, why do I want to study sociology or anthropology?" And then it hit me! Those would BOTH be incredibly beneficial to acting! Hello....the study of people and the way they interact and live?! God's awesome.
5:30- Dinner!!! We had a delicious "fall" dinner!
It is now 6:30 and I don't have anything planned for the rest of the evening.
It sounds like I have a super bad attitude towards this week's lectures. To be honest, I'm having a hard time being super positive about it, we all are...staff included. We were all told that they were going to come in and teach us French and Anthropology...but we got grammar, phonetics, computers, translation, alphabet, etc. So, it's just been an adjustment...oh, and they're making us do homework and have actual graded tests that don't really count for anything so it's been incredibly hard mustering up the motivation to do it all. You know? But, I DON'T hate this week, I promise! :) It's just not my favorite! :)
Well, now I'm going to go relax! I recently got a LOT of new music, so I might just sit somewhere and listen to it all! :)
G'Night! :)
Update: I had SUCH a fabulous night after writing that last part of the entry! I listened to music with LaChelle - We listened to Brooke Fraser, Brandon Flowers, and I introduced her to The Raconteurs. I dyed her hair. We painted our nails. Had a shower date. However, I didn't wait long enough for my nails to dry before I took a shower so I had to re-do them when I got out. But, it was fine because we listened to Taylor Swift while eating oreos so basically, it was amazing!!! :)
THEN I got to skype with my momma! She woke up at 5:45AM to skype with me...that's REAL love! Now, I'm going to bed and she's going BACK to bed. :) We have a day full of tests tomorrow...those tests that don't actually count for anything... :)
I will talk to you all later! :)
G'Night Again! :)
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Leisurely Day
Today was so much more calm than yesterday...thank you Lord.
It was a leisurely morning, long set of lectures, and a delicious dinner.
That could literally sum up my day. :)
Now I have ANOTHER Tahiti meeting...I'm serious...these meetings are becoming QUITE redundant.
Oh, we got our mail in today...there was nothing for me. Sad. I've been here for 2 months and gotten a grand total of 5 items: 2 packages from my parents, one letter from a relative, and two letters from some of you. So...feel free to write me if you get a free chance... ;)
Today I started to finalize the tattoo that I'm going to get when I get home. I drew it on with pen and it looks AMAZING! I might upload a picture sometime.
Well...tomorrow should be an equally boring day - I'll update later.
G'Night.
It was a leisurely morning, long set of lectures, and a delicious dinner.
That could literally sum up my day. :)
Now I have ANOTHER Tahiti meeting...I'm serious...these meetings are becoming QUITE redundant.
Oh, we got our mail in today...there was nothing for me. Sad. I've been here for 2 months and gotten a grand total of 5 items: 2 packages from my parents, one letter from a relative, and two letters from some of you. So...feel free to write me if you get a free chance... ;)
Today I started to finalize the tattoo that I'm going to get when I get home. I drew it on with pen and it looks AMAZING! I might upload a picture sometime.
Well...tomorrow should be an equally boring day - I'll update later.
G'Night.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
The Flood-Waters Have Subsided
Here's an update on how my day has gone thus far.
Well....it got harder before it got better, but it did get better.
The floodgates are not closed yet, and I hope they never are. Because, if they ever close then the water is just going to build up again and then...yikes...I'll have another day like today. But, if I just keep them open and feel whatever feelings decide to pop up then maybe I'll really be able to heal and soon one day those waters won't be so strong or violent. Maybe.
Seriously though, I became SO comfortable with my school-mates today. Absolutely everyone knew I was sad...hello I was bawling on skype in the middle of the rec room, no privacy there. And then I kept crying during lectures. But every time I would shed a tear another person would come up and pray for me, or hold me, or tell me "I love you and I would choose you over anyone in the world", or...my favorite: give me chocolate. :)
I skipped both lunch and dinner today, but somehow I feel more full than I have all week. It could be because I just washed these skinny jeans, or maybe its all that bread, or MAYBE it's because pretty much everyone I know wrapped their arms around me to make sure I knew I was loved and cared for.
Thank you to everyone who either messaged me or commented on my post - I read every comment and they all mean a LOT to me.
The other day I got two letters in the mail from two of you guys and just to let you know I LOVED them! Thank you for sending them and thank you to everyone who has prayed for me!
Well, I'm going to go watch Wall-E...pretty much the perfect way to end this very full day. :)
Goooooood Night.
Well....it got harder before it got better, but it did get better.
The floodgates are not closed yet, and I hope they never are. Because, if they ever close then the water is just going to build up again and then...yikes...I'll have another day like today. But, if I just keep them open and feel whatever feelings decide to pop up then maybe I'll really be able to heal and soon one day those waters won't be so strong or violent. Maybe.
Seriously though, I became SO comfortable with my school-mates today. Absolutely everyone knew I was sad...hello I was bawling on skype in the middle of the rec room, no privacy there. And then I kept crying during lectures. But every time I would shed a tear another person would come up and pray for me, or hold me, or tell me "I love you and I would choose you over anyone in the world", or...my favorite: give me chocolate. :)
I skipped both lunch and dinner today, but somehow I feel more full than I have all week. It could be because I just washed these skinny jeans, or maybe its all that bread, or MAYBE it's because pretty much everyone I know wrapped their arms around me to make sure I knew I was loved and cared for.
Thank you to everyone who either messaged me or commented on my post - I read every comment and they all mean a LOT to me.
The other day I got two letters in the mail from two of you guys and just to let you know I LOVED them! Thank you for sending them and thank you to everyone who has prayed for me!
Well, I'm going to go watch Wall-E...pretty much the perfect way to end this very full day. :)
Goooooood Night.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Opening the Emotional Floodgates
It's only lunchtime and I'm already needing to escape to write to you all.
Today has been really really hard.
Living with 40 other people constantly around you makes it really hard to cry in private - actually quite impossible. But, today I went up to His Dwelling Place to do my hour of worship and all of my emotions from the past 2 months just flew out.
I went in kind of aggravated for no good reason and then the absolute smallest incident triggered something much bigger. Do you know what I mean? Something that doesn't actually matter that much just reminds your soul of an incident (or multiple) in the past that hurt? And then you pretty much flip out? Well...that happened.
All of the sudden I just started sobbing, the kind where you try and control it but that just makes it worse. So, I got up, locked the door, sat down and cried...and cried...and cried. But I got so incredibly angry I found a canvas and some red paint and started throwing it, then I smeared it everywhere and grabbed some scissors and cut the middle out of the canvas - no, it wasn't cool looking but it was a release.
But, I got so angry and hurt that I couldn't contain it any longer so I grabbed a chair kneeled at the bottom, imagined Jesus sitting in it, laid my head on his lap and sobbed.
I'm pretty sure I felt everything in that moment that I have tried not to feel for my whole life - family issues, insecurity, abandonment, and I think I finally got to really grieve my break up.
Well....all of that feeling sounds great in theory but it absolutely sucks in real life - I hated it, and I still hate it because I'm STILL feeling it. But, I managed to calm down long enough to go to worship.
Have you ever tried to worship while hurt or angry? Its a very odd feeling. It feels really pure and completely unnatural at the same time - it was like I was basically saying, "Hey God. I feel absolutely terrible right now but I trust you so might as well pass the time by praising you..." Maybe not what Paul was singing in jail but hey, it's real.
Anyways the guy asked if anyone wanted to go to the front for prayer and practically the whole room did, but I just stayed where I was in the back. And people actually came to pray for me! :) So, of course the floodgates opened up again... But, after worship they had apples and peanut butter which is a new found love of mine so it made it a lot better. :)
Anyways, lectures were all right. I learned how to say "can you pass me the apple" in French...because that's so useful in real life....
And somehow tried to figure out the difference in "ahhhh" and "ah" phonetically...I'm baffled.
But, the hurt just keeps coming in waves. And with the hurt comes the feeling of being overwhelmed. I'm overwhelmed that I'll NEVER get over these issues, I'll never be able to stand strong on my own two feet, or maybe I'll never be healed and whole. But then I think back to what God told me on that cliff that day in Fingal while watching the waves crash over and consume the rocks below. He told me "Clancy, I rush in to overwhelm you...I overwhelm you...not the enemy, I do." So, I'm just waiting for the enemy's waves to reside and God's to come rushing in - I'll let you know when they do.
It really makes me laugh out loud to think of everyone reading this, you guys must be thinking I need some therapy or something! My blogs are always like a roller coaster! :) I know some people in my life don't understand or appreciate my emotions, they just think its an overreaction - but, I'm pretty sure Jesus cried so maybe I'm just following in His footsteps ;)
Please continue to pray for me, I need it.
G'Later
Today has been really really hard.
Living with 40 other people constantly around you makes it really hard to cry in private - actually quite impossible. But, today I went up to His Dwelling Place to do my hour of worship and all of my emotions from the past 2 months just flew out.
I went in kind of aggravated for no good reason and then the absolute smallest incident triggered something much bigger. Do you know what I mean? Something that doesn't actually matter that much just reminds your soul of an incident (or multiple) in the past that hurt? And then you pretty much flip out? Well...that happened.
All of the sudden I just started sobbing, the kind where you try and control it but that just makes it worse. So, I got up, locked the door, sat down and cried...and cried...and cried. But I got so incredibly angry I found a canvas and some red paint and started throwing it, then I smeared it everywhere and grabbed some scissors and cut the middle out of the canvas - no, it wasn't cool looking but it was a release.
But, I got so angry and hurt that I couldn't contain it any longer so I grabbed a chair kneeled at the bottom, imagined Jesus sitting in it, laid my head on his lap and sobbed.
I'm pretty sure I felt everything in that moment that I have tried not to feel for my whole life - family issues, insecurity, abandonment, and I think I finally got to really grieve my break up.
Well....all of that feeling sounds great in theory but it absolutely sucks in real life - I hated it, and I still hate it because I'm STILL feeling it. But, I managed to calm down long enough to go to worship.
Have you ever tried to worship while hurt or angry? Its a very odd feeling. It feels really pure and completely unnatural at the same time - it was like I was basically saying, "Hey God. I feel absolutely terrible right now but I trust you so might as well pass the time by praising you..." Maybe not what Paul was singing in jail but hey, it's real.
Anyways the guy asked if anyone wanted to go to the front for prayer and practically the whole room did, but I just stayed where I was in the back. And people actually came to pray for me! :) So, of course the floodgates opened up again... But, after worship they had apples and peanut butter which is a new found love of mine so it made it a lot better. :)
Anyways, lectures were all right. I learned how to say "can you pass me the apple" in French...because that's so useful in real life....
And somehow tried to figure out the difference in "ahhhh" and "ah" phonetically...I'm baffled.
But, the hurt just keeps coming in waves. And with the hurt comes the feeling of being overwhelmed. I'm overwhelmed that I'll NEVER get over these issues, I'll never be able to stand strong on my own two feet, or maybe I'll never be healed and whole. But then I think back to what God told me on that cliff that day in Fingal while watching the waves crash over and consume the rocks below. He told me "Clancy, I rush in to overwhelm you...I overwhelm you...not the enemy, I do." So, I'm just waiting for the enemy's waves to reside and God's to come rushing in - I'll let you know when they do.
It really makes me laugh out loud to think of everyone reading this, you guys must be thinking I need some therapy or something! My blogs are always like a roller coaster! :) I know some people in my life don't understand or appreciate my emotions, they just think its an overreaction - but, I'm pretty sure Jesus cried so maybe I'm just following in His footsteps ;)
Please continue to pray for me, I need it.
G'Later
Non-Stop Day
Wow.
Today has been absolutely NON-STOP!! I got up early to try and squeeze some extra time in with God but got distracted by some good conversation...I'm definitely my mother's daughter :)
Anyways, we started our lectures at 9AM sharp. This week we're being taught by some Wycliffe Bible Translators...now, let me just describe a few of the unique teachers I have this week.
The first guy gave a VERY interesting session on phonetics but had a booger hanging out of his nose the ENTIRE time...incredibly distracting yet amusing and somehow made him more relate-able? :)
My French teacher had a fabulous white mustache, even whiter orthopedic shoes, and a sweater vest, and he made me feel like I was listening to the narrator of Narnia on tape - amazing.
And the translator/linguistics teacher was an absolutely BRILLIANT man who singly-hand-idly (is that a word?) created a written alphabet, phonetics system, and translation of the Bible for a village language called Rossel....and he wore a fanny pack during the entire lecture.
Needless to say our lectures were very diverse, however they were also quite draining. I felt like I was back in school - graded homework and all!
We had various lectures from 9AM-5PM (with a break for lunch, morning tea and afternoon tea of course) ranging from: phonetics, linguistics, language learning, Wycliffe history, grammar, translating, and on-site missionary work.
Directly following lectures we had dinner then a Tahiti team meeting (our outreach team is notorious for meeting literally every five seconds...) followed by a meeting to evaluate how much we need to make for outreach, followed by ANOTHER Tahiti team meeting (I'm not joking....we meet all the time), followed by a meeting between Emily and Kate and myself where I told them that doozy of a news that I mentioned earlier, followed by a girls meeting to plan a prank on the guys (let me know if you have any suggestions) followed by my blog meeting which I am in right now ;)
But seriously....it has absolutely been non-stop ALL day and I am totally exhausted. I now have a "shower date" with Emily and Kate (we have 3 shower stalls right next to eachother so if you get 2 other people to take a shower at the same time you can talk...I don't know, it sounds more fun in my head I guess) and then we're secretly sleeping in the dance studio tonight. Don't tell.
Tomorrow is another full day starting at 7:00AM and going until 5:30 - please keep me in your prayers! :)
I love you all! Comment to let me know that I still have readers please...I don't know where you all have gone! :)
G'Night!
Today has been absolutely NON-STOP!! I got up early to try and squeeze some extra time in with God but got distracted by some good conversation...I'm definitely my mother's daughter :)
Anyways, we started our lectures at 9AM sharp. This week we're being taught by some Wycliffe Bible Translators...now, let me just describe a few of the unique teachers I have this week.
The first guy gave a VERY interesting session on phonetics but had a booger hanging out of his nose the ENTIRE time...incredibly distracting yet amusing and somehow made him more relate-able? :)
My French teacher had a fabulous white mustache, even whiter orthopedic shoes, and a sweater vest, and he made me feel like I was listening to the narrator of Narnia on tape - amazing.
And the translator/linguistics teacher was an absolutely BRILLIANT man who singly-hand-idly (is that a word?) created a written alphabet, phonetics system, and translation of the Bible for a village language called Rossel....and he wore a fanny pack during the entire lecture.
Needless to say our lectures were very diverse, however they were also quite draining. I felt like I was back in school - graded homework and all!
We had various lectures from 9AM-5PM (with a break for lunch, morning tea and afternoon tea of course) ranging from: phonetics, linguistics, language learning, Wycliffe history, grammar, translating, and on-site missionary work.
Directly following lectures we had dinner then a Tahiti team meeting (our outreach team is notorious for meeting literally every five seconds...) followed by a meeting to evaluate how much we need to make for outreach, followed by ANOTHER Tahiti team meeting (I'm not joking....we meet all the time), followed by a meeting between Emily and Kate and myself where I told them that doozy of a news that I mentioned earlier, followed by a girls meeting to plan a prank on the guys (let me know if you have any suggestions) followed by my blog meeting which I am in right now ;)
But seriously....it has absolutely been non-stop ALL day and I am totally exhausted. I now have a "shower date" with Emily and Kate (we have 3 shower stalls right next to eachother so if you get 2 other people to take a shower at the same time you can talk...I don't know, it sounds more fun in my head I guess) and then we're secretly sleeping in the dance studio tonight. Don't tell.
Tomorrow is another full day starting at 7:00AM and going until 5:30 - please keep me in your prayers! :)
I love you all! Comment to let me know that I still have readers please...I don't know where you all have gone! :)
G'Night!
Sunday, October 24, 2010
A God-Send Doctor with a Comb-Over
Well, not much happened yesterday but it's just been so long since I've blogged I had to write another one!!! :)
Yesterday was Sunday for me here in Australia and that means it's our day off! I slept in until 9:30 which was delicious. And then I skyped with my mom which was even better!!! She got sick and had to leave the porch (at WOF) early to go back to the hotel room which worked out perfectly for me! ;) One day I want to skype with her while she's still on the porch...but that's a side note.
Anyways, after I skyped with my mom my grandmother and grandfather got online and skyped with me too! I miss them SO much so it was amazing to get to talk!
After returning to skype with my mom one last time (can you tell I miss her?) I went upstairs and ate some breakfast....I'm telling you, my day was not that exciting...
Upon finishing my cereal a few girls and myself went downstairs and watched "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2". Then I read a little bit of a book that's due next week (I hate the book so I won't even give you the title...it's awful and a lot about legalism and how God WANTS us to suffer because it grows us so he purposely makes us suffer...i hate it.) Then I took an AMAZING nap!
I woke up, watched the very end of "Time Traveler's Wife", I only watched about 20 minutes but I still cried. Then LaChelle and I went to the shops to buy some groceries and food.
THEN my day got kind of exciting! My friend Emily stepped on a thorn two days ago and she thinks it was a poisonous thorn because her foot is about 3 times the size it's supposed to be. Well, after hobbling around on it for two days she finally decided she should probably go to the doctor.
So, we piled into this awful broken down van and headed to something like a "Care Now" center. Well.....she couldn't figure out how the insurance worked so the lady at the desk said she couldn't see the doctor. BUT, at that moment the nice old doctor with a very interesting comb-over walked out and said, "Now, I wouldn't be hurting anyone if I just brought you into my office and took a look at it, right?" So, he did and she ended up needing a huge shot...in her butt. But, the doctor did it ALL for free!! He even gave her a prescription of antibiotics for free too! What a God-send!!!
Then we went and ate this delicious thing called "Golden Gaytime Crusher" at KFC...I love it. It's like a S'More in a glass with caramel...a-mazing.
After all of this it was about time to go to bed so I went and got distracted by painting my nails. Then I did some stretches and crunches (I'm telling you these carbs are getting to me!!!!) before I finally went to bed and slept soundly.
So...that was my day yesterday!!
This week is going to be insane! We have lectures from 9-5 every day...AHHHH! We're learning either French, Spanish, or Pigeon depending on which outreach you're going on. The Tahiti team is learning French and I am very excited!
Well, I will blog again sometime soon, whenever I can find the time! Even if my day was kind of boring like it was yesterday! I just miss "talking" to all of you!!! :)
G'Day!
Yesterday was Sunday for me here in Australia and that means it's our day off! I slept in until 9:30 which was delicious. And then I skyped with my mom which was even better!!! She got sick and had to leave the porch (at WOF) early to go back to the hotel room which worked out perfectly for me! ;) One day I want to skype with her while she's still on the porch...but that's a side note.
Anyways, after I skyped with my mom my grandmother and grandfather got online and skyped with me too! I miss them SO much so it was amazing to get to talk!
After returning to skype with my mom one last time (can you tell I miss her?) I went upstairs and ate some breakfast....I'm telling you, my day was not that exciting...
Upon finishing my cereal a few girls and myself went downstairs and watched "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2". Then I read a little bit of a book that's due next week (I hate the book so I won't even give you the title...it's awful and a lot about legalism and how God WANTS us to suffer because it grows us so he purposely makes us suffer...i hate it.) Then I took an AMAZING nap!
I woke up, watched the very end of "Time Traveler's Wife", I only watched about 20 minutes but I still cried. Then LaChelle and I went to the shops to buy some groceries and food.
THEN my day got kind of exciting! My friend Emily stepped on a thorn two days ago and she thinks it was a poisonous thorn because her foot is about 3 times the size it's supposed to be. Well, after hobbling around on it for two days she finally decided she should probably go to the doctor.
So, we piled into this awful broken down van and headed to something like a "Care Now" center. Well.....she couldn't figure out how the insurance worked so the lady at the desk said she couldn't see the doctor. BUT, at that moment the nice old doctor with a very interesting comb-over walked out and said, "Now, I wouldn't be hurting anyone if I just brought you into my office and took a look at it, right?" So, he did and she ended up needing a huge shot...in her butt. But, the doctor did it ALL for free!! He even gave her a prescription of antibiotics for free too! What a God-send!!!
Then we went and ate this delicious thing called "Golden Gaytime Crusher" at KFC...I love it. It's like a S'More in a glass with caramel...a-mazing.
After all of this it was about time to go to bed so I went and got distracted by painting my nails. Then I did some stretches and crunches (I'm telling you these carbs are getting to me!!!!) before I finally went to bed and slept soundly.
So...that was my day yesterday!!
This week is going to be insane! We have lectures from 9-5 every day...AHHHH! We're learning either French, Spanish, or Pigeon depending on which outreach you're going on. The Tahiti team is learning French and I am very excited!
Well, I will blog again sometime soon, whenever I can find the time! Even if my day was kind of boring like it was yesterday! I just miss "talking" to all of you!!! :)
G'Day!
Saturday, October 23, 2010
My Assessment of Camping
Wow.
I can't believe it's already been two weeks. And I also can't believe that I survived for that long...
So, here's my assessment on camping...I hate it.
Now, before you die-hard campers freak out let me just tell you about a few of the "fun" adventures we had while camping...I'll actually start with the drive there:
Well, it started off great! I woke up early enough to get really good seats, and LaChelle and I both slept all the way to the first pit stop. And then from the first pit stop to the second, and from the second to the third (we slept a lot). Well, sometime after the 3rd pit stop we lost a wheel...yep, the entire wheel fell off - completely. And it was pouring outside...and we were kind of in the middle of nowhere.
3 1/2 hours later we were on the road again and a few hours after that we arrived at Fingal. But, guess what? It was still pouring rain and now it was pitch black. So, we all lugged our soggy stuff to the upstairs of a church and crammed in for the night. Oh, and the bathrooms were flooded and outside...and the sinks were outside too...so I just brushed my teeth in the rain.
But, God was sweet and dried up all the flooding by the next morning. :) (not permanently though...)
A few days later we actually put our tents up. Now, I think I would REALLY love camping, if it was with a few friends...and relaxed...and not covered in sand all the time...and not muddy....etc. haha But, honestly camping was actually pretty fun! :)
Oh, and about a week into our trip came a rain storm...and because our tents were set up on sand all of our little metal rods that held our tents in the ground came up...so we had to run all of our stuff from our campsite back up into the church for the night. But, since LaChelle and my suitcase was so huge we had to just leave it and pray. But, about an hour later I realized my phone was in my suitcase!!! So, I sprinted out and back and got soaking wet.
The rain dried up the next day, thankfully, so we all moved back into our tents. Well, we went back in to go to sleep late at night and found out that some of our suitcases were soaked through. What?! It wasn't even raining. Come to find out, there were two large puddles of water stuck between the bottom of our tent and our tarp on the ground, and it was seeping through the seem in our tent soaking all of our stuff. So, me and the 4 other girls in my tent did a little tetris with our bodies and figured it out.
While there were a lot of "fun" adventures with rain and dirt and outside showers and spiders and poisonous snakes and things like that, there actually were a BUNCH of really fun adventures.
One of my favorites was our trip up to the lighthouse! It was BEAUTIFUL! We all went up as a base to do some worship and we were told to ask God for a revelation. Well...I kinda hate doing that because it just feels awful sometimes to me, especially when I feel like I don't get anything. BUT He was sweet and pointed out some sweet things to me!
First: My favorite part of the scene was where the waves got close to the rocks and they looked like they sped up and then they would completely cover up the rocks from all different directions. He pointed out to me, "Clancy, I rush in to cover you and wash over you. And sometimes I come in from unexpected directions".
Second: We saw dolphins!!! So, I was super scared to go in the ocean because of the sharks...but, someone told me that sharks don't go where there are dolphins. And throughout the day we saw two different "families" of dolphins swimming in opposite directions, like they were patrolling the beach, for me!! God was patrolling the beach so I didn't have to be scared to get in the water! :)
Yeah, that was amazing - and then yesterday we went kayaking! And OH MY GOODNESS BEAUTIFUL! We went with a FOR REAL aboriginal guy who even speared a sting ray...with a spear. WHAT?!
And the absolute best part was this: we saw dolphins again!!! This time there were only about 15 feet away! A momma, a baby, and a pappa and two other "teenagers" (I assumed so b/c they liked swimming ahead of their mom and dad ;)
And then all of the sudden one popped up less than 5 feet away from my kayak!! The aboriginal guy told us that if I kept paddling he would swim with me, AND HE DID! The dolphin swam WITH my kayak right in front of it!!!!! It was amazing!!
I thought that I would be able to remember everything that happened while in Fingal but, as I try and write more I can't remember a thing!
Basically, my real assessment of camping is this: although I didn't like the weather situations I had a really really really fun time and enjoyed somewhat of a vacation! We danced a LOT (we're learning a dance for Tahiti) and bonded a TON!
But, the absolute best part was that I heard God's voice! Honestly it was like I had a little honeymoon with Him the whole time! He made it so easy and fun and leisurely and then at the end of the week he spoke a doozy! And when I say doozy I mean a realllll doozy...But, you will find out about that later ;) Don't worry! :)
So...yeah, I don't know why it's so hard for me to figure out things that I did while in Fingal! Maybe I'm just pre-occupied in thought about that doozy that God told me! :)
Anyways, thanks for all of your prayers I really love you all and I'll update again tomorrow! :)
G'Night!
I can't believe it's already been two weeks. And I also can't believe that I survived for that long...
So, here's my assessment on camping...I hate it.
Now, before you die-hard campers freak out let me just tell you about a few of the "fun" adventures we had while camping...I'll actually start with the drive there:
Well, it started off great! I woke up early enough to get really good seats, and LaChelle and I both slept all the way to the first pit stop. And then from the first pit stop to the second, and from the second to the third (we slept a lot). Well, sometime after the 3rd pit stop we lost a wheel...yep, the entire wheel fell off - completely. And it was pouring outside...and we were kind of in the middle of nowhere.
3 1/2 hours later we were on the road again and a few hours after that we arrived at Fingal. But, guess what? It was still pouring rain and now it was pitch black. So, we all lugged our soggy stuff to the upstairs of a church and crammed in for the night. Oh, and the bathrooms were flooded and outside...and the sinks were outside too...so I just brushed my teeth in the rain.
But, God was sweet and dried up all the flooding by the next morning. :) (not permanently though...)
A few days later we actually put our tents up. Now, I think I would REALLY love camping, if it was with a few friends...and relaxed...and not covered in sand all the time...and not muddy....etc. haha But, honestly camping was actually pretty fun! :)
Oh, and about a week into our trip came a rain storm...and because our tents were set up on sand all of our little metal rods that held our tents in the ground came up...so we had to run all of our stuff from our campsite back up into the church for the night. But, since LaChelle and my suitcase was so huge we had to just leave it and pray. But, about an hour later I realized my phone was in my suitcase!!! So, I sprinted out and back and got soaking wet.
The rain dried up the next day, thankfully, so we all moved back into our tents. Well, we went back in to go to sleep late at night and found out that some of our suitcases were soaked through. What?! It wasn't even raining. Come to find out, there were two large puddles of water stuck between the bottom of our tent and our tarp on the ground, and it was seeping through the seem in our tent soaking all of our stuff. So, me and the 4 other girls in my tent did a little tetris with our bodies and figured it out.
While there were a lot of "fun" adventures with rain and dirt and outside showers and spiders and poisonous snakes and things like that, there actually were a BUNCH of really fun adventures.
One of my favorites was our trip up to the lighthouse! It was BEAUTIFUL! We all went up as a base to do some worship and we were told to ask God for a revelation. Well...I kinda hate doing that because it just feels awful sometimes to me, especially when I feel like I don't get anything. BUT He was sweet and pointed out some sweet things to me!
First: My favorite part of the scene was where the waves got close to the rocks and they looked like they sped up and then they would completely cover up the rocks from all different directions. He pointed out to me, "Clancy, I rush in to cover you and wash over you. And sometimes I come in from unexpected directions".
Second: We saw dolphins!!! So, I was super scared to go in the ocean because of the sharks...but, someone told me that sharks don't go where there are dolphins. And throughout the day we saw two different "families" of dolphins swimming in opposite directions, like they were patrolling the beach, for me!! God was patrolling the beach so I didn't have to be scared to get in the water! :)
Yeah, that was amazing - and then yesterday we went kayaking! And OH MY GOODNESS BEAUTIFUL! We went with a FOR REAL aboriginal guy who even speared a sting ray...with a spear. WHAT?!
And the absolute best part was this: we saw dolphins again!!! This time there were only about 15 feet away! A momma, a baby, and a pappa and two other "teenagers" (I assumed so b/c they liked swimming ahead of their mom and dad ;)
And then all of the sudden one popped up less than 5 feet away from my kayak!! The aboriginal guy told us that if I kept paddling he would swim with me, AND HE DID! The dolphin swam WITH my kayak right in front of it!!!!! It was amazing!!
I thought that I would be able to remember everything that happened while in Fingal but, as I try and write more I can't remember a thing!
Basically, my real assessment of camping is this: although I didn't like the weather situations I had a really really really fun time and enjoyed somewhat of a vacation! We danced a LOT (we're learning a dance for Tahiti) and bonded a TON!
But, the absolute best part was that I heard God's voice! Honestly it was like I had a little honeymoon with Him the whole time! He made it so easy and fun and leisurely and then at the end of the week he spoke a doozy! And when I say doozy I mean a realllll doozy...But, you will find out about that later ;) Don't worry! :)
So...yeah, I don't know why it's so hard for me to figure out things that I did while in Fingal! Maybe I'm just pre-occupied in thought about that doozy that God told me! :)
Anyways, thanks for all of your prayers I really love you all and I'll update again tomorrow! :)
G'Night!
Friday, October 8, 2010
It's been too long!
Hello everyone!!
Well, it has been a while since I last updated, hasn’t it? I think it's been too long...but, there are a few reasons for that: number one, I have been INSANELY busy!!! We’ve had a very full week of lectures, talks, prayers, and very little time for sleep. I have barely even had time to check my e-mail!
And the second reason that I haven’t updated all week is because the teaching has been very hard. Most of it did not sit very well at all with my spirit and I found that I didn’t want to blog about it because it weighed me down so much. It was awful! This whole week I felt bound and weighted down, it honestly was really miserable! But, I talked to my mom the other day and she helped a LOT! It was nice to hear that I wasn’t crazy and I wasn’t the only one in the world that didn’t agree with the teaching!
It wasn’t necessarily the actual teaching that I didn’t agree with, but the way it was taught, the language that was used, the spirit behind it was sooooo not of love but more of a spirit of power and not of humility. Honestly, it was quite annoying!! :)
BUT, today was the last day of lectures and it was actually quite awesome! It was like I walked into the room with a different spirit! Instead of being weighed down and angry at all of the things he said that I didn’t agree with, I just let everything that he said slide off of me if it didn’t sit well with me. Even in my notes I just wrote down the stuff that sat well with me and let everything else slide off if it wasn’t truth. And, oh my goodness it made all the difference in the world!!!
I am absolutely exhausted right now and it is SUCH a struggle to keep my eyes open! I haven’t been getting to bed before 12 in a while and have been waking up about 6’something every morning! Actually, yesterday morning LaChelle and I both turned off our alarms thinking we’d just take a quick rest in the morning and ended up sleeping through breakfast, devotionals, quiet time, and they had to call for us on the loud-speaker for work duties!! Oops! :)
And tomorrow night is definitely not going to be much better…I’m not going surfing in the morning, which is good because I’ll at least get to sleep in until 7. BUT, after youth street my team is staying up all night…yeah, I said it, all night…UGH! We’re making burritos and going to downtown Sydney at 1:30 in the morning to stand outside of the nightclubs as they let out and sell burritos to raise money for outreach. And, guess what, Sunday morning at 5AM we leave for a 12 hour bus ride to Fingal.
I’m sure you’re confused…let me explain. I don’t know if I have mentioned this before but, we are going on a camping trip! We will be in a place called Fingal (aboriginal territory) for the next two weeks sleeping on the beach, surfing like crazy, spear-fishing and kangaroo hunting (YIKES!), having bon-fires, and bonding together!! How fun! And can I just add that I have never been camping before in my life! I used to try and sleep out on the trampoline sometimes but I couldn’t even make it past midnight… so I’m pretty sure that the indigenous territory of Australia is kind of like throwing me in the deep end without floaties… but, we’ll see how it goes!
However, Fingal is 12 hours north of Sydney, which means all 30 of us are going to squish into little 10 seat-er buses and drive for 12 hours straight…and that will be after the night of selling burritos so we’ll have no sleep… yikes! AND, we’re not going to have internet access while we’re there so I won’t be able to update for the next two weeks!!! You’ll just have to imagine what I’m doing while I’m out there!
But, we don’t leave until day after tomorrow so I’ll be able to probably have one last update tomorrow! :)
This week has really made me miss my home! I can’t believe I’ve already been here for 6 weeks, they have FLOWN by…but at the same time whenever I think that I still have 18 weeks left it kind of makes me cringe a little. To be completely honest I would be totally happy if I was in my own bed right now, with my dog cuddled up at my feet and my mom and dad downstairs in the office. Or at lunch with Haven and Aaron and Kevin talking about what songs we’re going to play next at FC. Or at rehearsal for a weekend service…yeah, that one I really miss. Or at my grandmother’s lake house floating in the lake on a canoe! I would love ALLLLL of that, and I CAN’T WAIT to do all of those things in February!
However, I’m trying to keep on reminding myself that even though I’d like to be doing all of those things that I am here for a reason. And, that I am having some major life change that will be a great foundation for the rest of my life. And that all of those things will still be there in February and they will only be that much more sweet when I can actually do them all! :)
Well, I have to head upstairs for dinner now! We’re having fried fish and steamed vegetables! (We have a new kitchen manager which means that all of the food is soooo much better and we’re not just eating yucky fat chicken and rice…thank you Jesus!)
Oh, hey, so this is probably weird but I have a prayer request! I have some sort of rash on my chest and neck and back and LaChelle has something similar on her arms. We don’t know what it is, but could you all pray for it to either go away or for us to find out what it is so we can deal with it? Sorry if that was gross… :) But thank you for your prayers!!! :)
I LOVE YOU ALL! Seriously, I do, I can’t wait to see most of you soon! Did you know that this week marks the half-way point of my lecture phase?! How crazy!!!
I’ll update again soon!
G’NIGHT!
Well, it has been a while since I last updated, hasn’t it? I think it's been too long...but, there are a few reasons for that: number one, I have been INSANELY busy!!! We’ve had a very full week of lectures, talks, prayers, and very little time for sleep. I have barely even had time to check my e-mail!
And the second reason that I haven’t updated all week is because the teaching has been very hard. Most of it did not sit very well at all with my spirit and I found that I didn’t want to blog about it because it weighed me down so much. It was awful! This whole week I felt bound and weighted down, it honestly was really miserable! But, I talked to my mom the other day and she helped a LOT! It was nice to hear that I wasn’t crazy and I wasn’t the only one in the world that didn’t agree with the teaching!
It wasn’t necessarily the actual teaching that I didn’t agree with, but the way it was taught, the language that was used, the spirit behind it was sooooo not of love but more of a spirit of power and not of humility. Honestly, it was quite annoying!! :)
BUT, today was the last day of lectures and it was actually quite awesome! It was like I walked into the room with a different spirit! Instead of being weighed down and angry at all of the things he said that I didn’t agree with, I just let everything that he said slide off of me if it didn’t sit well with me. Even in my notes I just wrote down the stuff that sat well with me and let everything else slide off if it wasn’t truth. And, oh my goodness it made all the difference in the world!!!
I am absolutely exhausted right now and it is SUCH a struggle to keep my eyes open! I haven’t been getting to bed before 12 in a while and have been waking up about 6’something every morning! Actually, yesterday morning LaChelle and I both turned off our alarms thinking we’d just take a quick rest in the morning and ended up sleeping through breakfast, devotionals, quiet time, and they had to call for us on the loud-speaker for work duties!! Oops! :)
And tomorrow night is definitely not going to be much better…I’m not going surfing in the morning, which is good because I’ll at least get to sleep in until 7. BUT, after youth street my team is staying up all night…yeah, I said it, all night…UGH! We’re making burritos and going to downtown Sydney at 1:30 in the morning to stand outside of the nightclubs as they let out and sell burritos to raise money for outreach. And, guess what, Sunday morning at 5AM we leave for a 12 hour bus ride to Fingal.
I’m sure you’re confused…let me explain. I don’t know if I have mentioned this before but, we are going on a camping trip! We will be in a place called Fingal (aboriginal territory) for the next two weeks sleeping on the beach, surfing like crazy, spear-fishing and kangaroo hunting (YIKES!), having bon-fires, and bonding together!! How fun! And can I just add that I have never been camping before in my life! I used to try and sleep out on the trampoline sometimes but I couldn’t even make it past midnight… so I’m pretty sure that the indigenous territory of Australia is kind of like throwing me in the deep end without floaties… but, we’ll see how it goes!
However, Fingal is 12 hours north of Sydney, which means all 30 of us are going to squish into little 10 seat-er buses and drive for 12 hours straight…and that will be after the night of selling burritos so we’ll have no sleep… yikes! AND, we’re not going to have internet access while we’re there so I won’t be able to update for the next two weeks!!! You’ll just have to imagine what I’m doing while I’m out there!
But, we don’t leave until day after tomorrow so I’ll be able to probably have one last update tomorrow! :)
This week has really made me miss my home! I can’t believe I’ve already been here for 6 weeks, they have FLOWN by…but at the same time whenever I think that I still have 18 weeks left it kind of makes me cringe a little. To be completely honest I would be totally happy if I was in my own bed right now, with my dog cuddled up at my feet and my mom and dad downstairs in the office. Or at lunch with Haven and Aaron and Kevin talking about what songs we’re going to play next at FC. Or at rehearsal for a weekend service…yeah, that one I really miss. Or at my grandmother’s lake house floating in the lake on a canoe! I would love ALLLLL of that, and I CAN’T WAIT to do all of those things in February!
However, I’m trying to keep on reminding myself that even though I’d like to be doing all of those things that I am here for a reason. And, that I am having some major life change that will be a great foundation for the rest of my life. And that all of those things will still be there in February and they will only be that much more sweet when I can actually do them all! :)
Well, I have to head upstairs for dinner now! We’re having fried fish and steamed vegetables! (We have a new kitchen manager which means that all of the food is soooo much better and we’re not just eating yucky fat chicken and rice…thank you Jesus!)
Oh, hey, so this is probably weird but I have a prayer request! I have some sort of rash on my chest and neck and back and LaChelle has something similar on her arms. We don’t know what it is, but could you all pray for it to either go away or for us to find out what it is so we can deal with it? Sorry if that was gross… :) But thank you for your prayers!!! :)
I LOVE YOU ALL! Seriously, I do, I can’t wait to see most of you soon! Did you know that this week marks the half-way point of my lecture phase?! How crazy!!!
I’ll update again soon!
G’NIGHT!
Monday, October 4, 2010
Captivating
Hello!
Today hasn’t really even begun and yet I still just couldn’t wait to update. I finished my work duties early today so I decided to come into my room, get comfortable, and start reading Captivating! And, OH MY GOODNESS!!!! I feel so…understood! I’ve just GOT to share with you some of my heart! If I don’t I just might burst!!!
I wrote down some quotes that really spoke to me, so I’m going to share them with you. The first is probably the one that echoes what I’m feeling most right now. It is talking about the desires of a woman’s heart and says, “It’s not just the desire for an outward beauty, but more – a desire to be captivating in the depths of who you are.” Oh my goodness…YES! I don’t just want to be beautiful, that’s wonderful, but I want to completely and utterly captivate someone’s heart! Not because of how I look, or what I do, or how much time I give to missions, I want to captivate him because of WHO I am! I want him to be captured by the unexplainable qualities of my heart that cannot be found in any other person, the weird idiosyncrasies of my personality, my deep excitement, my deep pain, the annoying things that I naturally do, EVERYTHING!
Another quote that spoke to my heart was “So God endows woman with certain qualities that are essential to relationship, qualities that speak of God. She is inviting. She is vulnerable. She is tender. She embodies mercy. She is also fierce and fiercely devoted.” I love that last part, “She is also fierce and fiercely devoted.” Sometimes I feel like I am too stubborn or too fiercely devoted to things. Like, I am very fiercely devoted to the hope that one day I will end up with someone that is captivated by me. And, I am fiercely devoted to making things happen and getting what I desire, like the other day when I told God, “I’m not going to accept anything less than you showing up and rocking my world today.” I think that God is fierce too!
As I sat down to write this I decided I needed some theme music! And, instead of going to the tried-and-true Phil Whickham I stumbled upon Tchaikovsky…I know, weird. But, I started listening to “Sleeping Beauty Waltz” and “Romeo and Juliet” and immediately I started imagining myself being swept off onto a dance floor, with a beautiful dress (flowy of course…) like Cinderella and her prince – totally romanced, graceful, beautiful and captivating. Then his Piano Concerto No. 1 came on and I immediately imagined myself as a strong warrior after a victory! Like I had just sacrificed everything I had with the utmost bravery and courage and was now being commended for my valor.
Just reading over this makes me blush, because it is so vulnerable and I feel incredibly stupid for writing it. But, am I the only one that feels this way? Am I the only girl out there that wants to be ravishing and courageous, at the same time? Am I the only girl who doesn’t want to settle for less than someone to be utterly captivated by who you are? I sure hope not!
The next quote is by John Elderedge about the heart of a man. He says, “Every man wants a battle to fight…every man longs for a beauty to rescue…it’s not just that a man needs a battle to fight. He needs someone to fight FOR. There is nothing that inspires a man to courage so much as the woman he loves.” I sure as heck hope he’s right!!! I know that pretty much only girls read my blog…actually I’m quit positive no guys other than my family read this…BUT if there are any guys out there please respond to this and let me know if that is true!! Do you really desire to fight for someone?
I’ve always wanted to be fought for. I’ve always wanted a man to be just as “fiercely devoted” as I am, but fiercely devoted to ME! Fiercely devoted to not taking “no” for an answer, fiercely devoted to never letting me get hurt, fiercely devoted to doing everything humanly possible to make sure I am his and he is mine.
A secret desire of mine has always been to be a muse for someone. I’ve always hoped that one day I would date a musician or artist and be his muse – whenever he needed to be inspired he would think of the one he loved and create a masterpiece. But, I’ve never thought of being the inspiration for courage! And, I love it! Whenever I need to stand strong and fight a battle I always think of someone I love, whether it be a person or God – maybe one day I’ll be that person for someone. Maybe I’ll inspire them to run into the face of danger like David did with Goliath, as opposed to sitting there and waiting to play defense.
I know that I have written some pretty vulnerable and emotional things on this blog, but this is BY FAR the most embarrassing and scary! I’m actually very nervous about pushing the “post entry” button. For some reason I almost feel guilty – like I don’t have the right to want all of this. Like, I should just be happy with what I have and realize that all of my desires could only have been fulfilled before the fall. Like, I’m expecting too much of men in general, as if I’m too emotional or “girly” for real life.
But, I’m going to go ahead and step out in faith and trust that if my desires are too much or if I am too emotional then God will let me know and HE will change my heart. But, as of right now I’m choosing to believe that I was made in HIS image and that he is a romantic, merciful, beautiful, fiercely devoted, and absolutely CAPTIVATING God.
Thank you for listening! :)
G’Later
Today hasn’t really even begun and yet I still just couldn’t wait to update. I finished my work duties early today so I decided to come into my room, get comfortable, and start reading Captivating! And, OH MY GOODNESS!!!! I feel so…understood! I’ve just GOT to share with you some of my heart! If I don’t I just might burst!!!
I wrote down some quotes that really spoke to me, so I’m going to share them with you. The first is probably the one that echoes what I’m feeling most right now. It is talking about the desires of a woman’s heart and says, “It’s not just the desire for an outward beauty, but more – a desire to be captivating in the depths of who you are.” Oh my goodness…YES! I don’t just want to be beautiful, that’s wonderful, but I want to completely and utterly captivate someone’s heart! Not because of how I look, or what I do, or how much time I give to missions, I want to captivate him because of WHO I am! I want him to be captured by the unexplainable qualities of my heart that cannot be found in any other person, the weird idiosyncrasies of my personality, my deep excitement, my deep pain, the annoying things that I naturally do, EVERYTHING!
Another quote that spoke to my heart was “So God endows woman with certain qualities that are essential to relationship, qualities that speak of God. She is inviting. She is vulnerable. She is tender. She embodies mercy. She is also fierce and fiercely devoted.” I love that last part, “She is also fierce and fiercely devoted.” Sometimes I feel like I am too stubborn or too fiercely devoted to things. Like, I am very fiercely devoted to the hope that one day I will end up with someone that is captivated by me. And, I am fiercely devoted to making things happen and getting what I desire, like the other day when I told God, “I’m not going to accept anything less than you showing up and rocking my world today.” I think that God is fierce too!
As I sat down to write this I decided I needed some theme music! And, instead of going to the tried-and-true Phil Whickham I stumbled upon Tchaikovsky…I know, weird. But, I started listening to “Sleeping Beauty Waltz” and “Romeo and Juliet” and immediately I started imagining myself being swept off onto a dance floor, with a beautiful dress (flowy of course…) like Cinderella and her prince – totally romanced, graceful, beautiful and captivating. Then his Piano Concerto No. 1 came on and I immediately imagined myself as a strong warrior after a victory! Like I had just sacrificed everything I had with the utmost bravery and courage and was now being commended for my valor.
Just reading over this makes me blush, because it is so vulnerable and I feel incredibly stupid for writing it. But, am I the only one that feels this way? Am I the only girl out there that wants to be ravishing and courageous, at the same time? Am I the only girl who doesn’t want to settle for less than someone to be utterly captivated by who you are? I sure hope not!
The next quote is by John Elderedge about the heart of a man. He says, “Every man wants a battle to fight…every man longs for a beauty to rescue…it’s not just that a man needs a battle to fight. He needs someone to fight FOR. There is nothing that inspires a man to courage so much as the woman he loves.” I sure as heck hope he’s right!!! I know that pretty much only girls read my blog…actually I’m quit positive no guys other than my family read this…BUT if there are any guys out there please respond to this and let me know if that is true!! Do you really desire to fight for someone?
I’ve always wanted to be fought for. I’ve always wanted a man to be just as “fiercely devoted” as I am, but fiercely devoted to ME! Fiercely devoted to not taking “no” for an answer, fiercely devoted to never letting me get hurt, fiercely devoted to doing everything humanly possible to make sure I am his and he is mine.
A secret desire of mine has always been to be a muse for someone. I’ve always hoped that one day I would date a musician or artist and be his muse – whenever he needed to be inspired he would think of the one he loved and create a masterpiece. But, I’ve never thought of being the inspiration for courage! And, I love it! Whenever I need to stand strong and fight a battle I always think of someone I love, whether it be a person or God – maybe one day I’ll be that person for someone. Maybe I’ll inspire them to run into the face of danger like David did with Goliath, as opposed to sitting there and waiting to play defense.
I know that I have written some pretty vulnerable and emotional things on this blog, but this is BY FAR the most embarrassing and scary! I’m actually very nervous about pushing the “post entry” button. For some reason I almost feel guilty – like I don’t have the right to want all of this. Like, I should just be happy with what I have and realize that all of my desires could only have been fulfilled before the fall. Like, I’m expecting too much of men in general, as if I’m too emotional or “girly” for real life.
But, I’m going to go ahead and step out in faith and trust that if my desires are too much or if I am too emotional then God will let me know and HE will change my heart. But, as of right now I’m choosing to believe that I was made in HIS image and that he is a romantic, merciful, beautiful, fiercely devoted, and absolutely CAPTIVATING God.
Thank you for listening! :)
G’Later
Lazy Day of Research
Howdy!
Today has been SUCH a restful day! Last night I journal-ed a LOT before I went to bed. I really had some things I needed to talk to God about! By the time I actually got into bed it was about midnight, and I didn't wake up until noon this morning!!
I woke up to have a FABULOUS Skype date with my mom! Can I just say that she is AMAZING?! Seriously, she gives the BEST advice in the world! If I grow up and end up exactly like her, then I'll be 100% happy. She's so stinking encouraging and has made me feel SO much better about the whole girl jealousy thing!
After that I went upstairs and made LaChelle and myself a DELICIOUS breakfast! It consisted of scrambled eggs, whole-wheat pancakes, and bacon (well....they call it bacon but it's really ham)...yeah I'm pretty much the house-wife of our relationship. :)
Then I sat down and started on my HUGE "Adopt A Nation" project. I adopted Uzbekistan as my nation and had to research pretty much EVERYTHING about it and make a powerpoint. It took me a total of about 4 hours, but I am finally finished! Did you know that it is actually illegal for any christian church to evangelize in Uzbekistan? Crazy!
I took a little break during work and talked to Kev...I know, I cracked...
But, it was good - communication is hard, especially 8,000 miles away but we have ended on a good note which will help me not be distracted by so much pain, I think. As I was talking he stopped me and said, "Wow, Clancy, I love how in touch with your feminine side you are..." hahaha - yeah, I'm emotional. But, he's going to read Captivating to try and understand me more :)
Then I went upstairs and indulged in a DELICIOUS dinner and now I am updating to you! Today has not been very full, but I love it that way! Tonight I have to turn in and/or present my Uzbekistan presentation and then all of us girls are getting together and talking...yikes, pray! :)
I'll let you know how it goes! Thank you for all of your prayers!
Tomorrow lectures start again, and it's spiritual warfare week!! I'm sure I'll have a LOT more to say on my next update!
G'Night!
Today has been SUCH a restful day! Last night I journal-ed a LOT before I went to bed. I really had some things I needed to talk to God about! By the time I actually got into bed it was about midnight, and I didn't wake up until noon this morning!!
I woke up to have a FABULOUS Skype date with my mom! Can I just say that she is AMAZING?! Seriously, she gives the BEST advice in the world! If I grow up and end up exactly like her, then I'll be 100% happy. She's so stinking encouraging and has made me feel SO much better about the whole girl jealousy thing!
After that I went upstairs and made LaChelle and myself a DELICIOUS breakfast! It consisted of scrambled eggs, whole-wheat pancakes, and bacon (well....they call it bacon but it's really ham)...yeah I'm pretty much the house-wife of our relationship. :)
Then I sat down and started on my HUGE "Adopt A Nation" project. I adopted Uzbekistan as my nation and had to research pretty much EVERYTHING about it and make a powerpoint. It took me a total of about 4 hours, but I am finally finished! Did you know that it is actually illegal for any christian church to evangelize in Uzbekistan? Crazy!
I took a little break during work and talked to Kev...I know, I cracked...
But, it was good - communication is hard, especially 8,000 miles away but we have ended on a good note which will help me not be distracted by so much pain, I think. As I was talking he stopped me and said, "Wow, Clancy, I love how in touch with your feminine side you are..." hahaha - yeah, I'm emotional. But, he's going to read Captivating to try and understand me more :)
Then I went upstairs and indulged in a DELICIOUS dinner and now I am updating to you! Today has not been very full, but I love it that way! Tonight I have to turn in and/or present my Uzbekistan presentation and then all of us girls are getting together and talking...yikes, pray! :)
I'll let you know how it goes! Thank you for all of your prayers!
Tomorrow lectures start again, and it's spiritual warfare week!! I'm sure I'll have a LOT more to say on my next update!
G'Night!
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Lord of the Rings Marathon!
Hello all!
Well, the other night was the boy's turn...and last night, it was mine and LaChelle's.
Let me explain:
Did I mention earlier that we're in our own room for a few days? Well, for some reason all day I was really scared to go into that room, so I waited until LaChelle wanted to go to bed too, which when all was said and done wasn't until about 2 o'clock in the morning.
Well, right when I laid down I was terrified. So, I got up and prayed over our bed while LaChelle was sleeping. But, even after that I still felt this overwhelming fear. I kept whispering prayers under my breath but every time I closed my eyes I couldn't control my thoughts. Even when I opened my eyes it was like the Devil was taunting me with pictures and thoughts.
But, I kept on praying and telling myself over and over that God was with me, etc. However, my heart just kept beating faster and faster making everything even worse. Well, after about 20 minutes of this I heard LaChelle whisper and ask me if I was okay. I was surprised that she was still awake, and even more surprised about what she asked me!
I told her that no, I wasn't doing very well and she said that she couldn't sleep either. The same exact thing was happening to her! She kept seeing eyes and bodies whenever she would close her eyes and she was shaking too. She said that she felt like something wasn't right, so we both hopped out of bed, grabbed our Bibles and headed outside to see who was still awake.
We walked into the rec room and the only people still up were Joe and Heijin (she's a sweeeet girl from Korea, she's going on my outreach too!) Joe could tell immediately that something was wrong and he quickly ended his skype date to pray over us. He said that he really felt like we needed to pray over LaChelle and me, so they both laid hands on us and started to pray. LaChelle and I both prayed out as well, and Joe anointed our foreheads.
LaChelle felt like one of the reasons that this was happening was because of some stuff she has been discovering about her family history and their involvement in some different things, so we prayed about that. And then I really felt like some things have been getting in through what people have been looking at on the internet, so we prayed about that too.
Then we prayed and anointed the door frame of our new room (tonight's probably our last night in there) as well. We don't know who stayed in that room before us (a lot of families come in and out of our base, kind of like a hostel) so we prayed against anything that may have been brought in with the previous family. And, oh my goodness the Holy Spirit was there!!! Heijin later told me that when she touched our door and started praying she immediately saw huge eyes in our room surrounded with hundreds of littler eyes, and they were all looking at us in the room. I asked her if they were good eyes and she said definitely not, they were very evil. But, she said that the more we prayed the more the eyes started to disappear!
She was so sweet, the entire time Joe, LaChelle and I were praying she never stopped! I'm not sure whether she was praying in Korean or in her spiritual language, but she was very constant.
Then LaChelle and I went to bed (okay...we were still a little frightened so we slept together...we're such girls) but before we went to bed we started praying out loud. And, I started talking to God about arch angels and asked him to send Gabriel and Michael down to protect us while we slept. Well, since I asked I just assumed that God did it, so I started talking to Gabriel and Michael as if they were really sitting there.
Apparently talking to angels and God as if they're literally sitting right next to you is a little weird...and it certainly tickled LaChelle. She turned to me after I said something about how I thought that Michael has a blond mullet and Gabriel has curly brown hair and told me "Clancy, that prophecy about you entertaining God's presence was SO spot on!!!" :) Anyways, after that we had the best night's sleep EVER! However, it was definitely too short...only 4 1/2 hours... after which we got up and headed out to church.
The rest of the day was pretty boring up until we started our Lord of the Rings marathon! Almost our entire school set up couches, mattresses, tables, pillows, blankets and PILES of junk food and made ourselves comfortable as we sat down to watch all three "Lord of the Ring" movies, extended edition. YIKES!
Well, I've seen the 1st movie and half of the 2nd movie (twice each...I've tried to do a marathon a few times) so I was determined to at least get all the way through "Twin Towers". And, I succeeded!!! But, I've only had a total of 8 hours sleep in the past 48 hours and I also have started to feel sick, and I really don't think I could justify staying up that late again tonight, especially if my mom asked! ;)
So, now I am here writing to you! I've had an overall good day! However, it's really frustrating because I feel more and more isolated every minute. It's like all of the girls (except LaChelle) have something against me!! I've tried really really hard to be open to all of them and honestly have been doing a pretty good job! But, even then they isolate me! :(
I went and talked to Emily (the girl that talked to the Muslims with me) about it and she said that I wasn't imagining things. One girl in specific has been talking a LOT behind my back and it's affected the other girl's opinion of me. And, she said that almost all the girls resent my friendship with LaChelle, they don't have best friends here and they don't like that I do...I don't get that?! Am I supposed to stop hanging out with LaChelle because it makes them mad? But, I specifically prayed for a best friend who was on the same intelligence level as me, the same spiritual level, and the same humor level (which is pretty low...) and God provided the perfect one!!! Wouldn't it be like a slap in the face to God if I stopped hanging out with her?
UGH! It's annoying. I'm fine if people have problems with me or whatever, I've grown up with a fabulous family and a wonderful life, it's not my first go-around with jealous people BUT it hurts soooooooo bad that people are talking about me behind my back! I don't think they understand how much it hurts! :(
Well, I'm going to go talk to God about it. I've really liked having a best friend in Him! He's really nice! :) Alright, I'll update again tomorrow!
G'Night! :)
Well, the other night was the boy's turn...and last night, it was mine and LaChelle's.
Let me explain:
Did I mention earlier that we're in our own room for a few days? Well, for some reason all day I was really scared to go into that room, so I waited until LaChelle wanted to go to bed too, which when all was said and done wasn't until about 2 o'clock in the morning.
Well, right when I laid down I was terrified. So, I got up and prayed over our bed while LaChelle was sleeping. But, even after that I still felt this overwhelming fear. I kept whispering prayers under my breath but every time I closed my eyes I couldn't control my thoughts. Even when I opened my eyes it was like the Devil was taunting me with pictures and thoughts.
But, I kept on praying and telling myself over and over that God was with me, etc. However, my heart just kept beating faster and faster making everything even worse. Well, after about 20 minutes of this I heard LaChelle whisper and ask me if I was okay. I was surprised that she was still awake, and even more surprised about what she asked me!
I told her that no, I wasn't doing very well and she said that she couldn't sleep either. The same exact thing was happening to her! She kept seeing eyes and bodies whenever she would close her eyes and she was shaking too. She said that she felt like something wasn't right, so we both hopped out of bed, grabbed our Bibles and headed outside to see who was still awake.
We walked into the rec room and the only people still up were Joe and Heijin (she's a sweeeet girl from Korea, she's going on my outreach too!) Joe could tell immediately that something was wrong and he quickly ended his skype date to pray over us. He said that he really felt like we needed to pray over LaChelle and me, so they both laid hands on us and started to pray. LaChelle and I both prayed out as well, and Joe anointed our foreheads.
LaChelle felt like one of the reasons that this was happening was because of some stuff she has been discovering about her family history and their involvement in some different things, so we prayed about that. And then I really felt like some things have been getting in through what people have been looking at on the internet, so we prayed about that too.
Then we prayed and anointed the door frame of our new room (tonight's probably our last night in there) as well. We don't know who stayed in that room before us (a lot of families come in and out of our base, kind of like a hostel) so we prayed against anything that may have been brought in with the previous family. And, oh my goodness the Holy Spirit was there!!! Heijin later told me that when she touched our door and started praying she immediately saw huge eyes in our room surrounded with hundreds of littler eyes, and they were all looking at us in the room. I asked her if they were good eyes and she said definitely not, they were very evil. But, she said that the more we prayed the more the eyes started to disappear!
She was so sweet, the entire time Joe, LaChelle and I were praying she never stopped! I'm not sure whether she was praying in Korean or in her spiritual language, but she was very constant.
Then LaChelle and I went to bed (okay...we were still a little frightened so we slept together...we're such girls) but before we went to bed we started praying out loud. And, I started talking to God about arch angels and asked him to send Gabriel and Michael down to protect us while we slept. Well, since I asked I just assumed that God did it, so I started talking to Gabriel and Michael as if they were really sitting there.
Apparently talking to angels and God as if they're literally sitting right next to you is a little weird...and it certainly tickled LaChelle. She turned to me after I said something about how I thought that Michael has a blond mullet and Gabriel has curly brown hair and told me "Clancy, that prophecy about you entertaining God's presence was SO spot on!!!" :) Anyways, after that we had the best night's sleep EVER! However, it was definitely too short...only 4 1/2 hours... after which we got up and headed out to church.
The rest of the day was pretty boring up until we started our Lord of the Rings marathon! Almost our entire school set up couches, mattresses, tables, pillows, blankets and PILES of junk food and made ourselves comfortable as we sat down to watch all three "Lord of the Ring" movies, extended edition. YIKES!
Well, I've seen the 1st movie and half of the 2nd movie (twice each...I've tried to do a marathon a few times) so I was determined to at least get all the way through "Twin Towers". And, I succeeded!!! But, I've only had a total of 8 hours sleep in the past 48 hours and I also have started to feel sick, and I really don't think I could justify staying up that late again tonight, especially if my mom asked! ;)
So, now I am here writing to you! I've had an overall good day! However, it's really frustrating because I feel more and more isolated every minute. It's like all of the girls (except LaChelle) have something against me!! I've tried really really hard to be open to all of them and honestly have been doing a pretty good job! But, even then they isolate me! :(
I went and talked to Emily (the girl that talked to the Muslims with me) about it and she said that I wasn't imagining things. One girl in specific has been talking a LOT behind my back and it's affected the other girl's opinion of me. And, she said that almost all the girls resent my friendship with LaChelle, they don't have best friends here and they don't like that I do...I don't get that?! Am I supposed to stop hanging out with LaChelle because it makes them mad? But, I specifically prayed for a best friend who was on the same intelligence level as me, the same spiritual level, and the same humor level (which is pretty low...) and God provided the perfect one!!! Wouldn't it be like a slap in the face to God if I stopped hanging out with her?
UGH! It's annoying. I'm fine if people have problems with me or whatever, I've grown up with a fabulous family and a wonderful life, it's not my first go-around with jealous people BUT it hurts soooooooo bad that people are talking about me behind my back! I don't think they understand how much it hurts! :(
Well, I'm going to go talk to God about it. I've really liked having a best friend in Him! He's really nice! :) Alright, I'll update again tomorrow!
G'Night! :)
Saturday, October 2, 2010
DTR's are almost as exciting as spiritual warfare!
Hey!
Today was very different than yesterday! But, let me first start with last night!
I went to bed feeling very very sick, emotionally and physically exhausted and ready for a good night’s sleep (even though I had to wake up at 4:30 for surfing). But, as soon as I got in bed I woke up…I couldn’t get my mind to stop thinking and let me sleep! After at least an hour or laying there I finally fell into a half-sleep. Then around 1 o’clock in the morning I woke up to noises. I couldn’t make out what they were so I assumed they were just coming from the room next to me. Then my legs kept twitching and becoming really restless – I couldn’t calm them down enough to go back to sleep and the more I thought about it the more I woke up!
I finally thought to ask God if maybe he was telling me to get up, so I asked Him and the answer was “yes”. Well, I didn’t want to get up – for a few reasons, one because I was scared (LaChelle and I are sleeping in our own room for a few nights so it’s new territory and I’ll admit…a little scary), two because I really wanted to get sleep because of my early morning coming up, and three because I just thought I knew better. So, I rolled over and prayed that God would help me get to sleep – but no luck.
This went on for about an hour – I’d ask God if He wanted me to get up and walk around, He’d tell me “Yes!!!” and I’d make an excuse that it was just my imagination, roll over and force myself to stop thinking. It was miserable!!! I was on the verge of tears and incredibly stressed out! Finally, after an hour of this I eventually fell back to sleep.
I woke up at 4:15 by accident (I thought it was 4:45) but by the time I realized my mistake I was already up and dressed. So, I went upstairs to the kitchen, alone, to make myself some breakfast. On my way upstairs I walked by the front doors (made entirely of glass) and saw that on each one there was a large handprint in the middle of each, and they were all dripping…I thought that maybe it was someone playing a prank earlier that night but then I touched them and realized that they were from the inside!! I immediately ran downstairs and found LaChelle brushing her teeth.
We then realized that the handprints were from oil, anointing oil! (Why does anointing have to be so creepy?!) We figured someone had been woken up in the night and told to anoint the doors so we just waited for Simon (my legal guardian/DTS school leader/ HUGE Samoan guy/official surf-bus driver/awesome person) to wake up and we'd ask him what happened.
So, we all piled in the van (3 of the guys including Jo stayed home b/c they didn't want to wake up, especially b/c there was a high chance of rain) and got ready for a pretty good explanation to our question. Apparently at about 1 o'clock in the morning most of the guys in my school got this feeling that something wasn't right. So, they all met up and decided they should start praying, they had the right heart but didn't really have any guidance as to how or what to do. Well, just so happens that at the exact time they met up outside to pray Jo and Simon were walking around the base making sure all the doors were locked because they both had the same feeling that something was wrong.
With that confirmation they all grabbed a bottle of oil and started anointing every square inch! And, no joke, there was some major warfare that took place! It would take a really long time to tell everything that happened, but just believe me when I tell you that the Holy Spirit showed up and showed off! After about an hour or two of praying and rebuking they all went to sleep.
How weird!! At almost the exact same time that all of that was going on God was telling me to get up...I really wish I would have obeyed. I talked to one of the guys who was a part of the prayer last night and he told me that while he was praying I kept coming up in His mind and He didn't know if He was supposed to pray for protection for me or what, but that He prayed really hard for me.
What a preparation for outreach!!! I was JUST talking to my mom before I went to bed, warning her about how spiritually dark Vanuatu and the specific village of Tahiti will be! She told me "You know, I named you Clancy because I liked the sound of it, but I really think that you're going to step into the real meaning of your name while you're on outreach." My name means son of a red headed warrior, or ruddy warrior like David! I'm bummed that God gave me an opportunity to step into my name last night I just didn't listen. But, I'm so glad I found out what happened, 'cause now I know what to do next time! :)
Well, it's pretty much needless to say that the guys on our DTS are fully prepared to protect us while we're on outreach, from anything!! How encouraging!
I can't believe that with such an exciting night the day could have gotten any more exciting - but, it did!! We went surfing (which was kinda a dud considering it was FREEZING and raining...) and I got a very special and important phone call.
I'm really really really learning a LOT about the power of prayer - both the power of prayer from others to me and the power of me actually speaking out the desires and prayers of my heart. God keeps on surprising me with how sweet He is AND how powerful He is! Oh my goodness, I love it! :) He's making it so easy to trust him! :)
The rest of the day wasn't exciting enough to blog about EXCEPT that LaChelle and I had an official "DTR" (define the relationship) and the verdict is in....we're officially best friends!!! I was so excited when she said it that I accidentally spit orange juice on her...good thing it was AFTER we had the conversation. :) And, Jo and I had a good heart-to-heart, too. I really appreciate having good guy-advice without any side-thoughts, you know?
There's a little bit of drama where one girl is talking bad about me to other people and they're all giving me mean looks. It's hurtful and annoying, but I've been really alright with the fact that as long as I have a clear conscience then I don't really have to care about what they think. But, it's easier said then done! :) I thought that stupid girl stuff ended when I walked across the stage and turned my tassel...but apparently I was wrong!
Well, I'm sure some of you have stopped reading by this point - this is pretty much a novella BUT for those of you truly committed I want to say thank you SO much for prayer!! I really appreciate it, and I KNOW that it is working in my life! I still have hard moments - and hard days - but there is a LOT of comfort in knowing that I'm being thought about and prayed for!
THANK YOU!
G'Night! :)
OH, PS: Just a little observation - this week is our "Spiritual Warfare" week (that's the topic for this week). I don't think that it's a coincidence that all of that stuff happened last night, just a few days before we start on this new topic. So, any added prayer for safety is MUCH appreciated! :)
Today was very different than yesterday! But, let me first start with last night!
I went to bed feeling very very sick, emotionally and physically exhausted and ready for a good night’s sleep (even though I had to wake up at 4:30 for surfing). But, as soon as I got in bed I woke up…I couldn’t get my mind to stop thinking and let me sleep! After at least an hour or laying there I finally fell into a half-sleep. Then around 1 o’clock in the morning I woke up to noises. I couldn’t make out what they were so I assumed they were just coming from the room next to me. Then my legs kept twitching and becoming really restless – I couldn’t calm them down enough to go back to sleep and the more I thought about it the more I woke up!
I finally thought to ask God if maybe he was telling me to get up, so I asked Him and the answer was “yes”. Well, I didn’t want to get up – for a few reasons, one because I was scared (LaChelle and I are sleeping in our own room for a few nights so it’s new territory and I’ll admit…a little scary), two because I really wanted to get sleep because of my early morning coming up, and three because I just thought I knew better. So, I rolled over and prayed that God would help me get to sleep – but no luck.
This went on for about an hour – I’d ask God if He wanted me to get up and walk around, He’d tell me “Yes!!!” and I’d make an excuse that it was just my imagination, roll over and force myself to stop thinking. It was miserable!!! I was on the verge of tears and incredibly stressed out! Finally, after an hour of this I eventually fell back to sleep.
I woke up at 4:15 by accident (I thought it was 4:45) but by the time I realized my mistake I was already up and dressed. So, I went upstairs to the kitchen, alone, to make myself some breakfast. On my way upstairs I walked by the front doors (made entirely of glass) and saw that on each one there was a large handprint in the middle of each, and they were all dripping…I thought that maybe it was someone playing a prank earlier that night but then I touched them and realized that they were from the inside!! I immediately ran downstairs and found LaChelle brushing her teeth.
We then realized that the handprints were from oil, anointing oil! (Why does anointing have to be so creepy?!) We figured someone had been woken up in the night and told to anoint the doors so we just waited for Simon (my legal guardian/DTS school leader/ HUGE Samoan guy/official surf-bus driver/awesome person) to wake up and we'd ask him what happened.
So, we all piled in the van (3 of the guys including Jo stayed home b/c they didn't want to wake up, especially b/c there was a high chance of rain) and got ready for a pretty good explanation to our question. Apparently at about 1 o'clock in the morning most of the guys in my school got this feeling that something wasn't right. So, they all met up and decided they should start praying, they had the right heart but didn't really have any guidance as to how or what to do. Well, just so happens that at the exact time they met up outside to pray Jo and Simon were walking around the base making sure all the doors were locked because they both had the same feeling that something was wrong.
With that confirmation they all grabbed a bottle of oil and started anointing every square inch! And, no joke, there was some major warfare that took place! It would take a really long time to tell everything that happened, but just believe me when I tell you that the Holy Spirit showed up and showed off! After about an hour or two of praying and rebuking they all went to sleep.
How weird!! At almost the exact same time that all of that was going on God was telling me to get up...I really wish I would have obeyed. I talked to one of the guys who was a part of the prayer last night and he told me that while he was praying I kept coming up in His mind and He didn't know if He was supposed to pray for protection for me or what, but that He prayed really hard for me.
What a preparation for outreach!!! I was JUST talking to my mom before I went to bed, warning her about how spiritually dark Vanuatu and the specific village of Tahiti will be! She told me "You know, I named you Clancy because I liked the sound of it, but I really think that you're going to step into the real meaning of your name while you're on outreach." My name means son of a red headed warrior, or ruddy warrior like David! I'm bummed that God gave me an opportunity to step into my name last night I just didn't listen. But, I'm so glad I found out what happened, 'cause now I know what to do next time! :)
Well, it's pretty much needless to say that the guys on our DTS are fully prepared to protect us while we're on outreach, from anything!! How encouraging!
I can't believe that with such an exciting night the day could have gotten any more exciting - but, it did!! We went surfing (which was kinda a dud considering it was FREEZING and raining...) and I got a very special and important phone call.
I'm really really really learning a LOT about the power of prayer - both the power of prayer from others to me and the power of me actually speaking out the desires and prayers of my heart. God keeps on surprising me with how sweet He is AND how powerful He is! Oh my goodness, I love it! :) He's making it so easy to trust him! :)
The rest of the day wasn't exciting enough to blog about EXCEPT that LaChelle and I had an official "DTR" (define the relationship) and the verdict is in....we're officially best friends!!! I was so excited when she said it that I accidentally spit orange juice on her...good thing it was AFTER we had the conversation. :) And, Jo and I had a good heart-to-heart, too. I really appreciate having good guy-advice without any side-thoughts, you know?
There's a little bit of drama where one girl is talking bad about me to other people and they're all giving me mean looks. It's hurtful and annoying, but I've been really alright with the fact that as long as I have a clear conscience then I don't really have to care about what they think. But, it's easier said then done! :) I thought that stupid girl stuff ended when I walked across the stage and turned my tassel...but apparently I was wrong!
Well, I'm sure some of you have stopped reading by this point - this is pretty much a novella BUT for those of you truly committed I want to say thank you SO much for prayer!! I really appreciate it, and I KNOW that it is working in my life! I still have hard moments - and hard days - but there is a LOT of comfort in knowing that I'm being thought about and prayed for!
THANK YOU!
G'Night! :)
OH, PS: Just a little observation - this week is our "Spiritual Warfare" week (that's the topic for this week). I don't think that it's a coincidence that all of that stuff happened last night, just a few days before we start on this new topic. So, any added prayer for safety is MUCH appreciated! :)
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