Sunday, September 12, 2010

Dear Haven...

For one of my homework assignments I was asked to write a letter to a friend back home about how my friendship with God has developed since I got here, so I chose my best friend, my sister!!!

I've slept most of today and worked on homework the rest of it, now I'm about to go out to get coffee with someone who works for Hillsong so I decided I'd just post the letter as my blog update for today! I hope you enjoy!! :)

Dear Haven,

Hello! I’m supposed to write a letter to a friend back home and share with them about how my friendship with God has developed since I’ve arrived here at my DTS, so I chose you!! It’s really weird writing a letter that you know someone else is going to read AND grade…But, here it goes!

Well, when I first arrived I had kind of tried to live my life like I was “talking to God all the time” but avoid actually talking to Him. I had avoided doing a “real” quiet time for weeks because the way I thought I should do them always bored me and I knew that I had been ignoring God for a while so I was too embarrassed to start talking to Him again. The first day we had classes they told us to go out and do an hour long quiet time and it was all I could do to not laugh – or cry. I couldn’t even imagine sitting there and talking to God for an hour!! And, you know what? I didn’t! I wrote in my journal and prayed for about twenty minutes, maybe thirty and then I just sat there and looked at ants walking around on the ground until we were told to come back inside.

That first quiet time kind of discouraged me a little because I still didn’t necessarily “feel” God and it seemed like everyone else did! But, you know what started happening? I don’t even know when, but I started falling in love with God! I started writing him love letters and thanking him for things he’s done in my life, and I started feeling his presence – almost tangibly!! And by last week I started wanting even longer quiet times! I signed up to spend an hour in “His Dwelling Place” every Wednesday which makes my quiet time almost two hours long – and I LOVE IT!!

God and I have actually become really great friends! I’d really call him my best friend, (besides you of course!)! I mean, I still feel this need to go to humans for comfort when I’m sad but, I think that feeling has started to wane at least a little bit. We learned in one of our lectures that when we have pain we usually go to two places to deal with it: Pleasure – like a human being or food, etc. or Power – usually we are in pain b/c we’re not in control so we try to use power to regain control. And, that’s been SO true in my life!! Whenever I’m in pain I’ve always gone to people to comfort me but, I’m really really hoping that by the end of this DTS I’ll be going to God for that comfort because I know that He really is the best hugger in the world! Well…maybe I don’t wish that because that would mean that I have to go through more pain while I’m here, and I don’t want that! :)

I think I’m supposed to include some Bible verses in this letter…so unnatural, but I want an “A” so let me just get really spiritual really quickly! :) So, I was reading the Lord’s holy word and these verses just rose off the page and spoke to me! (Actually….I Googled them…) The first one is 1 John 4:8 it says “The person who refuses to love doesn’t know the first thing about God, because God is love.” That has spoken to me because it’s becoming more and more real to me lately, love isn’t just a characteristic of God, it is God. You can’t separate the two! So, every time I interact with Him He always responds with love – always!

The second verse that I thought of was Ephesians 1:4-5 which says, “Long before he laid down earth’s foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love. Long, long ago he decided to adopt us into his family through Jesus Christ.” And, what this pretty much says to me is that God’s whole entire purpose of creating me is to be my friend!! What the heck?!? Seriously?! YEAH!! I wasn’t created just to worship Him, or bring Him glory, or work for Him, I was created to be His friend! So, my greatest act of worship is just talking with Him and saying, “hey, I like you!” WOW!

I miss you haven! And you’re my best friend on earth and the BEST sister ever!! I can’t wait to come home and tell you MORE about what I’m learning, especially when there’s not someone else reading what I’m telling you! :)

I love you sister!!



G'Night all!!

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